Balance and Joy

My husband was watching a TED talk the other night on Netflix. I walked in and sat down and was really quickly drawn in to the topic. This young woman with kind of crazy hair and a funky dress on was talking about how she had suffered a concussion and went through severe brain trauma. She was very depressed at one point, and said that 1 in 3 concussion sufferers go through this extreme part of recovery. She was a video game creator, and she decided to make a video game to help her get well.

So she created this game that would motivate her to do very small (each taking less than a minute many times) tasks, and by making it a game she could play online with friends, she could bring in a little competition which would be even more motivating. You could get points for little things like going to sit by the window, or snapping your fingers 50 times. She had a mental, a physical, an emotional, and maybe a spiritual (I can't exactly remember) component to the game, and each challenge led to healing.

This reminded me of my favorite professor at Campbellsville U, Dr. Hurtgen. He said every day you need to open "each of your four doors." I will add social, making it five :). For a general sense of well being, we need to realize that we are not merely 100% spiritual or merely 100% physical.  We are all of the above and we need take a little time for each of these parts of our being every day instead of thinking "I'm eating great, why don't I feel good?" or "I'm around lots of friends, what's wrong?"

When we begin to feel "out of it" or depressed or just imbalanced, there is usually a door that we have either abandoned or let get stuck in a rut. God created us to be multi-faceted, right? It's fun to embrace who we are on all these levels, because He made us so uniquely. I love to find out what makes people tick. He made us mental, our brains are always at work. He made us emotional, our feelings are embedded in all we experience. He made us physical, our systems never stop. He made us social, even an introvert like me craves face time with people. He made us spiritual, and connects us to Himself through the Holy Spirit so that our Life in the spirit remains our anchor.

This TED talk speaker also said that she has learned through talking with people, especially those who have suffered much, that most of us don't allow ourselves to be happy. We think we're lazy or doing something wrong if we aren't worried or working ourselves to death. I am so so guilty of this!! I forget to relax and just enjoy life sometimes. I forget that the possibilities are endless. I forget how fragile and precious the people around me truly are. I forget the freedom both physical and spiritual I have been graciously given, with no work on my part to receive it. I forget that seasons change and it's okay to let go of things and that God isn't breathing down my neck about a single thing. Praise the LORD!

As believers, we can be happy in suffering because we have surrendered our wants to God...we aren't demanding our way anymore. We're saying, "God, I want life to the fullest, whatever You want that to look like." There is such joy in surrender, such peace in obedience, and such fulfillment in letting each day grow us a little more in all these parts of who we are.

Being Brave

This week I got to learn something about myself, and that is that I am a wimp.

But God is bringing opportunities to practice not being a wimp and I am excited about this.

Over the past month, there have been (now) four situations where my oldest daughter (age 8) has had some sort of conflict with a friend. Sometimes the mom told me about it, sometimes another adult friend told me about it, but I never saw it for myself nor did I have the chance to really get involved. After the third one (and like I said, all three being something I only heard of after the fact), I was beginning to feel really weird...wondering what character flaws were showing up and irking other people, wondering what was actually being said and done, how much was provoked, how much was immature and silly, how much was a necessary response (if any), and how much I needed to get involved and help her know how to handle these conflicts or keep them from happening in the first place. Ah, parenthood, right? 

So I brought it up with my friend, who was hosting my daughter for a sleepover. We had such an awesome talk about this; it was truly the Lord giving us a chance to help our daughters and at the same time, help ourselves get over any insecurities we might have about admitting character flaws and things we need to work on. It is hard enough to realize these things about yourself...but I think it takes a whole new big mama dose of the Holy Spirit to be able to realize and humbly speak of these things about your own precious flesh and blood that you feel "surely couldn't say or do that, at least without good reason".

It was great. We decided we would allow the conflicts that may come up to be a learning experience for all of us; to somewhat expect little issues and if they aren't worked out well by the girls themselves, us moms would step in and take our time to address it fully. We want to teach them how to get along, not leave it all up to them to "figure out". We want to let them make mistakes and know what to do after that happens, because that is going to happen, and maybe even learn how to steer clear of those relationship mistakes in the first place.

So, there was a conflict and the next day we all talked about it. We made sure everyone's feelings were validated. We called blame out where it was due. (A side note about this: it was probably easier for me in this particular instance because it was my girl who needed to do the apologizing. Its actually harder to be the one who was wronged because you don't want the other to feel too bad, or make a big deal, etc. but I think it takes bravery on both sides. The one who was wronged has to really stop and say, "Yes, I need you to apologize, that is what's fair" instead of "No, it's okay, forget it." The one who was wrong needs to stop and think about how it would feel if those words or actions had been done to them and then have a plan of action to make things right.) 

The great news is: I think both girls walked away with a sense of what they would do differently next time. Taking the time to deal with it instead of just gloss it over, with parents and apologies involved, made it unforgettable. For example, Selah stayed up late writing apology letters (that is plural because her problems didn't end with this one conflict with her friend! We had a rough day!) and then today I read a song she had written and left on the table. It brought tears to my eyes because it was two pages long (takes after her mama!) and it was all about how thankful she was that Jesus came to take away sin.  It was a beautiful worship song, and this was one of those times that God used pain and realization of her own brokenness to bring her to His feet.

We all need that. We all need to see the brokenness so we can be made whole! In relationships, to be made whole! With God, to be made holy! With ourselves, to not beat ourselves up but to rationally and maturely handle this balance of what God is doing in us vs. what we have already conquered. Humility is to agree with God about the reality of our fallen selves; forgiveness is to let Jesus's perfection cover us in that broken reality! We are not only allowed to, we are commanded to, walk in the freedom and joy of a forgiven and made holy person...and that's going to require facing things and doing whatever we have to do to make it right when at all possible.

So, lastly, this just brings me to say--I have been a wimp in my relationship with girlfriends. I haven't known how to handle conflict. I haven't used the opportunities I have been afforded to truly grasp skills that would allow forgiveness and freedom...and fun :) but I want to! And I think in stopping that cycle, in not allowing that to go on in how I train my daughters to relate with people, I myself am going to have to choose to be brave and stop and work things out with people regardless of how uncomfortable or afraid I am. I have always believed people could work anything out through prayer and talking, but I have still shied away from necessarily practicing that. It's so scary! Will I be too brash or will I call out specks when the plank is in my eye? Will I make things worse? Will I sound so self-secure that I will freak people out who aren't really in this same place of wanting to lay it all out on the table? 

I don't know, really. But I know I need to be brave and prayerfully handle, truly handle, issues when they come up. After all, our kids don't necessarily do what we say, they do what we do! And God continually gives us extra worksheets, extra homework, to really nail down a characteristic of HIS in our own lives so that we shine forth who Jesus is to the world...Oh, I love that He is all about doing that! Makes any discomfort or pain much more manageable to have heavenly purpose behind it.

So here is my honest and open prayer: "Lord, help me learn how to love, to create safe spaces for people to be themselves (even if I don't like or agree with all the pieces of who they are), and to have the humility to truly be myself even if someone doesn't like all these pieces of who I am (because that's actually okay). Help me learn how You would handle differences and bad moods and feelings, and help me give people freedom to be where they are, loving them right then and there instead of steering clear of them."  Can I hear an AMEN!? :)

What Is Up?

Well, no big thing, just SUMMER!!! That's what's up in the Taylor household :) and even though I don't feel like writing a big in-depth blog about the things closest to my heart at the moment, I can at least write about what is...you know...UP.

The garden is fun-We have a few tomatoes, one cucumber so far, lots of pretty pumpkin leaves, a few little green peppers...Um, I am realizing my garden gets very little sunshine. Wha-wha. So I may be doing a few containers of tomatoes and peppers next year and then planting only shade-loving veggies next year. All that to say, thank God for Aldi's...and friends with good gardens. I do still love just getting in the garden and weeding and seeing little things grow though.

Big break from homeschool-This year we decided to be ALL OUT during the summer and ALL IN the rest of the year. We'll see how that goes, I say with one eyebrow raised. Seriously though, I have gotten excited about planning out our curriculum and hours, and Yemi is already so excited that I have begun to do an hour of Kindergarten each day. But Selah, she is most definitely ALL OUT until August 13th. We are going to try a 4 day school week this year, Tues-Fri, because of my part time jobs. Then on Saturdays we can do any extra projects and creative things we may not have had time for during the week.

The part time jobs-Yes, this honestly will be what I remember about Summer '13. Seriously, I have taken on a little more than I should have, and yet I am grateful for the opportunity. Mondays I am working as a health coach at my doctor's office (LOVE IT!); I am learning a lot and will be beginning a certificate program in Holistic Nutrition online soon. Tuesdays I put in about 6 hours planning, praying, and practicing for worship at my church which meets in Louisville (journeylouisville.org). I am growing in this as well, and enjoying what God is doing there! Wednesdays and Thursdays I am teaching guitar and voice classes to kids, and I have 2 more weeks of this. It has been so cool to see Selah's musical talents take off this summer, as she has attended my classes with her friends! She is song writing, playing guitar really well, and is much more enthusiastic about piano lessons.

Reading-Finally. I have a tendency, always have, to read 5 books at a time. So my five this summer were/are: Mansfield Park (Read it, check! Weird ending, check!) Trim Healthy Mama (Learned a ton about nutrition, check! New recipes for sugar free desserts, check!) Let Go by Fenelon (Soul searching, check!) Abba's Child by Brennan Manning (Stopping every two pages to process, check!) and last but not least, The Book of Galatians (Ready to engage in our summer sermon series, check!)

Well...that's good for now. Everyone is doing well and honestly I just feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Maybe later will post some pics from summer fun and talk about what I think our homeschool will look like this coming year. :)

"Only One Word Perhaps..."

It is amazing how God uses the saints as vessels for His Spirit to dwell and bring messages to others! I am reached personally yet again by Fenelon, a Christian in the 17th century (!) and I want to share this with you today because it is the Lord speaking directly to my frazzled mind.

"When it comes to accomplishing things for God, you will find that high aspirations, enthusiastic feelings, careful planning, and being able to express yourself well are not worth very much. The important thing is absolute surrender to God. You can do anything He wants you to do if you are walking in the light of full surrender.

Living in this blessed way involves a continual death which is known to very few, but it is in this position that you can be really effective for God. A single word spoken to another person from this restful, abandoned position will do more to change circumstances than all our most eager and carefully planned schemes...Only one word perhaps--but it enlightens, persuades, blesses, and moves to action."

I am learning the obedient action of praying before and during each task, especially those that involve others, because like that old joke says, "My attitudes and behaviors were perfect today...until I got out of bed." I am downright saintly until I am pushed and prodded by people, voices, demands, tiredness, hunger, heat, cold, whatever (it doesn't take much!) So, before I am meeting someone for health coaching, or while I am singing, or before I begin (and certainly during) homeschool, even before sitting down with my husband to talk...I am learning the beauty of leaning in hard on the Lord and letting Him know that I know I will only have as much to give as He personally gives me in those moments. To say, "Oh, Lord, I know- I deeply know- that this is all You" is a peaceful place of submission and dependence.

In quietness and rest is our strength. In the peaceful abandon of our own spirits to the Lord, we have a deep reservoir in which to draw for that one word that may sustain a friend...not our word, but the Lord's. And as most of my blog entries end, this brings us back to personally staying in His presence and carefully removing that which makes us frazzled and disconnected. I think it is the work of our lives, our true job, to remain peaceful in the palm of His hand. Some of us have busier schedules than others, some of us don't have much to juggle; but wherever He has placed us, I know that He will make it possible to practice His presence and lean into Him for each interaction we have with others, and in this way, we are vessels to speak His words without even realizing it. This is my aim and my heart's desire...

Wheat and Sugar Free for Kids!

So, a friend asked me to give some healthy meal and snack ideas for kiddos. Here are some of the things we eat around here. I don't think there will be anything exciting and new, but maybe it will help!

We eat combinations of a protein and carb at most meals. Proteins are: meats, beans, legumes, dairy (but we rarely eat dairy), nuts, seeds, etc. Carbs are: Veggies, fruits, grains. So you can see in most meals here, both are present. We also add a healthy fat usually to meals where the protein is lean, such as roasting/grilling veggies with olive oil or a salad with dressing made with olive oil, or protein shake with coconut oil.

Meals and Snacks:
Almond milk and flaxseed pumpkin cereal (or another organic, low or no sugar added cereal)
Eggs (scrambled and boiled are our favorites) and blueberries or strawberries
Omelets with cheese, red or green peppers, red onion, and sometimes sausage or bacon--confession!)
Oatmeal (with a little "real" maple syrup and frozen blueberries)
Protein shakes with spinach, ground flaxseed, frozen fruit, whey protein powder, coconut oil
Salad: spinach, lettuce, tomatoes, fruit, pumpkin seeds, carrots, walnuts
Raw walnuts, almonds, pecans, pumpkin seeds, or cashews with raw veggies like carrots, cucumbers, peppers, or broccoli
All natural peanut/almond butter with celery, rice cake, apple slices, or just a spoonful of PB and a fruit or veggie
All natural pb with spreadable fruit on rice cakes
Taco salad: Spinach, tomatoes, beef browned with cumin & chili powder, maybe some shredded cheese, non GMO corn tortilla chips (Aldi's or Trader Joe's), black bean and corn salsa
Chili with Laura's lean beef (Kroger), beans, etc., adding in pureed sweet potato
Other homemade soups like Pasta Fagioli, chicken tortilla soup, veggie, etc, all pasta is brown rice pasta
Spaghetti with brown rice pasta, beef, and low sugar or homemade spaghetti sauce
Many different "chicken in the crock pot" meals with brown rice and a salad or quinoa and a salad
Roasted veggies like sweet potato fries, broccoli, potatoes, etc with chicken or fish
Beans and brown rice
Grilled veggies like peppers, onions, mushrooms with grilled chicken or fish
Frozen fruit: pineapple tidbits, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, straight from the freezer


That's pretty much what we eat around here! We try to keep anything processed or junky out of the house. It is so easy to grab stuff like pretzels, chips, granola bars, and gummy fruit snacks when we're hungry...and then we over eat these "foods" because none of them have nutrients that nourish our bodies. So keeping these all out of the house helps a lot. We try to make half of every plate raw veggies and/or fruits.

Also, we pack snacks every day that we are leaving the house so we don't get stuck in town starving! We pack baggies of nuts, seeds, green peppers, raisins, carrots, grapes, strawberries, apple slices, and sometimes rice cakes and peanut butter. Wish I had more exciting foods to share with you, but these are all nutrient dense and filling, and I'm sure we'll branch out and find new things as we learn!

Kids will eat good food if that's all they are offered. Try cooking the veggies in different ways, or just keep offering them raw, maybe one slice of green pepper a day. They aren't going to like all of them, but they will get used to many and eventually this will be the new normal. We have a couple types of dips in the house, like ranch dressing (as all natural as I can find until I learn to make my own), and I think if kids need bbq sauce, salad dressing, butter, or cheese to eat these foods, that's fine. Eventually they will not need these extras. Tastes change! Whole food supplements such as Juice Plus can help them change; it's really amazing!

Journey Well

I am that girl who both loves and struggles with certain things. I have several of those "love-hate" relationships in my life. For example, I love to write, but often when I go to write about something, it feels like I am staring down the face of a mountain. I love to run, but it's more about how I feel afterwards than during the actual experience. And lastly, I love the topic of nutrition and holistic wellness, but that doesn't mean I don't have my fair share of struggling with the knowledge I obtain! It's a lifelong game of tug-o-war, pulling between what I am genuinely passionate about, or what I genuinely know I need to do, and the fear of failure (or sometimes just laziness) that tugs the other way!

When it comes to nutrition, I've found that many people I know feel the same way. We care about nutrition, we believe food matters to our health--some believe this to a greater extent than others--but there is a challenge there to find the right path, get on it, and stay on it. Three years ago when I was diagnosed with Adrenal Fatigue, I thought I was a healthy eater. I was raised to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, only whole grains and whole wheat products, the only liquid I consumed was water, and I went on a walk most days of the week. But I had acid reflux, I was overweight, I had headaches almost every day, and I hate to say it, but I was losing handfuls of hair daily! When my blood work came back, my cholesterol was high and several other numbers were not showing the insides of a healthy woman. I had to learn (and I admit I took the slow path) what my body needed. But eventually, after trying the path of least resistance with no results a few times, I got to my goal weight, almost every number on the blood work got back where it belonged, and I eventually became sugar and wheat free which eliminated even more of my health symptoms.

And because of that, because of the journey I have been on to greater health in this crazy-perspective-on-food kind of world, I am excited to begin training as a Health Coach! Under the mentorship of my Nurse Practitioner, Shelley Roby, in Elizabethtown, I'm beginning to some of see her patients (and others outside of her practice) to help them get on an eating and exercise plan. A large part of this experience will be not only suggesting pairing nutrient dense foods in the right amounts throughout the day, but partnering with these clients, encouraging them on their journey to wellness. I am not a medical professional, and will only be offering information that clients could obtain themselves from a variety of sources if they wanted to do their own research. A Health Coach is to a Nutritionist what a Life Coach is to a Licensed Therapist. I will suggest and encourage all-natural and balanced plans, with foods that can be locally bought on clients' varying budgets...and I will help them stick with those plans as they encounter the hurdles that inevitably will come.

To begin with, each client that I meet with will fill out a Health Questionnaire which gives me information on their current lifestyle in regard to food, exercise, rest, etc. Then we'll talk through what I call "Green Light Foods" and "Red Light Foods". As the client shares with me what they like to eat from the Green list, we'll make a list of sample meals and what a perfect day of eating (and being satisfied!) will look like. Items from the Red list will be avoided as much as possible, but we'll talk about alternatives to many of these "foods". We'll discuss what these foods (both good and bad) do for you, and why your physical and even emotional health depends on you making good choices. We'll make a plan for exercise and splurges, and also everyone will have the accountability of a food journal to turn into me weekly by email. We'll meet together as necessary, and also correspond by email often.

Feeding ourselves seems like something we should have figured out at the age of 3, right? But this ever important task is more than just filling our tank with calories and making it from day to day. Food makes the difference between rising and shining, or just dragging from event to event. It makes the difference between being able to think clearly or be foggy-headed, living in a body you like or constantly feeling ashamed.  Who knows what medicines will be tossed out and what sizes we will easily slip into when we eat the way the systems of our bodies need us to, as opposed to being enslaved to traditions, cravings, and addictions.

You can email me at journeywell@lyndsaytaylor.com if you'd like to have a consultation and begin partnering with me on this journey to wellness! Everyone has different needs, desires, and paces in which to travel, and I would love to walk with you for awhile. I really believe I can help you know what to do...and actually do it! And you will know that I am doing it right there with you, because this is a lifelong challenge!

His "What??" Is Easy?

I have always liked Matthew 11:25-30, and here's the couple of verses in that passage most of us have heard, maybe even memorized: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." I liked it, but I couldn't say I got a lot out of it personally. But this week, I asked for understanding...

I'm sure this just scrapes the surface, but there are three literally life-changing truths in this that pertain to me and you! How could Jesus say the yoke upon Him was easy and His burden was light? What does being gentle and humble have to do with it? How could He say having that same yoke upon us would bring rest to our souls? What the heck is a yoke anyway?

A yoke is a steering mechanism in short, put on animals, as they do their tasks in the fields or on their journey. A burden is whatever that animal may be carrying for their masters. We learn in Hebrews that although Jesus was perfect and never sinned, He was learning obedience to the Father all the while, through His trials. His "yoke" was the Father's constant guidance and authority over His life throughout all the situations He was in. The yoke upon Jesus (put on and steered by His Father) led Him to the cross. And yet Jesus says it was "easy", and invites us to the same relationship of Father/Son, Master/Yoke Carrier, promising rest if we will learn this from Him.

So what can I learn from Jesus here? Here are the three answers I find:
1) Jesus knew His Father's heart. He was all up in His business! He knew the bottom line His Father was looking for in gaining the hearts of the world He created...and Jesus was on board. He truly wanted what His Dad wanted, and they were on the same team. So even in the agony that yoke brought Him, it would have been more agonizing, more of a burden, to have lost sight of all He had in His identity as the Son of God! The same is so true for us. This life is short! This is our chance, while we wait for His return, to be about His business--and that comes in varying forms of personal obedience. No preacher can tell you His business for your life...it begins with making God's heart (His Word, communication with Him, practicing His presence, learning obedience through difficulties) your #1 priority. Of all the WWJD statements we could assume upon Jesus, we know for a fact His #1 priority was keeping in line with the Father's heart, and that was a JOY to Him.

2) Why else could He say His yoke was easy and His burden light? Because He was gentle. He made the choice time after time after time to not resist the Lord's will. He allowed the guidance of His Father to happen without pulling in another direction or figuring out another way, choosing submission, and in this way, He lived His life to the fullest of what it was supposed to be. Have you ever seen a child use all their energy fighting against the thing that would have allowed them to have a wonderful day? A healthy meal, a seat in a comfy stroller, a life jacket so they could play in deep water for hours! May I say most of us, including me, are not used to being gentle under God's yoke on us, if we've even allowed His yoke to be upon us in the first place! We have our plans, our own ways we want our lives to turn out. When we think of living life to the fullest, are these the qualifications for that title?:
-Dying at 33 years old
-Being misunderstood by 99% of the people who knew us
-Being executed as a criminal
-Your life ending before your own mother's
-Having no money, no home, nothing to pass on to anybody of material resources
-No spouse, no children
...And this was God's Plan A for His Beloved Son!

Why do we expect the complete opposite? Why do we buck when God allows suffering, expecting and sometimes demanding He do something different for His children?

We can trust Him. We can be gentle under His leadership of our lives. He didn't make mistakes with His Son and He will not make mistakes with us. Everything the enemy intends for evil in our lives, God can turn around for glorious good if we will relax under His movements.

3) And one last thought about how He could call this yoke easy and this way of life restful--He was humble. In Philippians 2:5-11 we remember what humility really means. Jesus' example of humility that we can follow is that He knew His place, or I should say places. At the exact same time, Jesus "did not consider equality with God something to be grasped" and knew He was a member of the Trinity! And for us, we cannot live our lives thinking God owes us anything, we can't live with this chip on our shoulder like we are waiting for God to give us special treatment, but at the exact same time, we are called to remember we are co-heirs with Christ, with a heavenly destiny, and a Father who thinks of us constantly, brimming over with love and care! Recognizing that all we have and all we are is a gift that we didn't deserve...that's a first step to humility. Recognizing that God gets to interpret His promises toward us--He alone has that right--brings peace. We can spend our lives shaking an angry fist to the heavens because we don't understand His ways, or we can choose humility and say, "Who am I to understand it all, who am I that You would share your thoughts with me?" Maybe Jesus isn't saying you have to be gentle and humble and take His yoke upon you, maybe He was just saying do this if you want rest and peace? I believe in some good wrestling with God...and I believe it's only healthy if it's a short term sport!

This resting doesn't mean I have no opinion of my own, and it doesn't mean I am in such amazing contact with the Father that I know everything I do all day was His will! But there is a sense of ease in trusting, learning gentleness when unexpected messes come my way, learning humility when my hopes are dashed, and believing the end goal of my life is following in line with God's end goal, even if it doesn't look like I would have planned.

We aren't on our own down here. He never asked us to figure out what to do and then do it on our own strength. He gives us a recipe for rest...and this recipe strips everything from us...but that everything was killing us. He invites us to come.