I Want To Remember This

Tonight as I was putting Yemi to bed, she of course called me back in her room for one last something.

She asked: "Mom, what if at school somebody doesn't like me and thinks I'm stupid?"
I said: "Well, that doesn't feel good, but you can just say to yourself, 'There are lots of people who do like me and Jesus does not think I'm stupid, so I'm happy no matter what they think!'"
She said: "But I don't want people to not like me."
I said: "I know how that feels, Yemi, and it's not fun. But it does happen like that sometimes, and we have to just love those people and love ourselves, too."
She said: "So if someone's being mean to me, I can just go somewhere else... but before I do, I'll say to them, 'I don't like that, but I love you' and I'll kiss them on their head and go!"

Yes! Wow. I think she gets it. I pray she really does do this, and I pray we ALL do!

As children formed by God's hand in our mother's womb--in His image even--we never have reason to let someone's cruel or insensitive words or feelings toward us get under our skin. If we are full to the brim of what He says about us, then we can honestly need no input from others...and when we get it, we don't absorb it. We don't have to receive it. I'm learning that when people are jerks, for lack of a better word, they have a problem, not me...so we can joyfully pray, offer grace, give the kind of love we've been given from God...and walk away unaffected. Easier said than done? Yes. And we'll be tested often! But this is a goal to work towards I think.

Maybe we'll think of Yemi's kiss on the head to a class bully, then run off to carelessly play, the next time we have the chance to be offended.

Living Love Story #9: Over the Top

There are certain times in life we remember better than others. A once in a lifetime vacation we remember a little better than day trips to the zoo. An outfit or pair of shoes we begged our parents for we remember better than humdrum school clothes. Sometimes we remember a gift because it was wrapped in a box that was 10x too big or we remember a surprise party better than a simple little one we planned. To remember something, we have to go through a series of strong emotions, we have to be awakened by a little bit of both agony and sheer joy! Think about a time you had a serious illness and were healed, or someone you love passed away, or when someone new came into your family--you can remember details about that season of your life whereas typically you would have no idea what you were doing that week. When things stand out of the ordinary, we remember it and we find ourselves telling and retelling the story.

I think that's a little bit of what God was up to when He delivered the Israelites out of Egypt in the epic story of Moses, Pharoah, and the Crossing of the Red Sea. He has a crazy strategy; He plans a true saga! (That has to be right because look how many movies have been made about it!) The flies, the blood, the gnats, the sons, the magicians, the staff, the snake, Moses and his stuttering tongue, Aaron and his apparent eloquence...none of these things even mattered! They were just pawns in God's hand to play out a story, a story that God wanted to stamp into the history of this book called God's Fanatical Love For the People of Israel. (Yep, I just called God a fanatic!) In Exodus 10:1-2, God lays it out plainly. He makes it clear He has never for one moment been in a submissive posture as this story unfolds. He orchestrated it--even down to the details of Pharoah's stubborn hardened heart--to give Israel a chance to see in the uncut, unedited form Who He Is. So that they would never forget. So that they would keep telling this over the top story to their children and their children's children, forever and ever, amen. It's like a great engagement story or "when I knew he would be my future husband" story...those moments that lead to a depth of relationship. He wanted them to know Him.

God will do whatever He's gotta do for His own to know Him and come close, and we can know whatever He does is gonna be memorable. And the very cool part about Him is that anyone who will come into the fold is welcome, becoming an instantaneous loved one, equally valuable and protected as He demonstrates in all of these chapters and these specific verses (Ex. 11:7, Ex. 12:13, Ex. 14:13-14, Ex. 14:25) Did God play favorites in this story of the Israelites and Egyptians? Of course He did. If there is a fold, there will be those in the fold and those out of it. I don't particularly like that, but its still true. So what is my amazing, philosophical, theological response? Get in the fold, enjoy being His favorite, and be a living invitation to everyone around you!

In our lives now, what would happen if we viewed everything that comes our way as part of an illustrious memorable story God is writing to teach us of His character and to make us more like Him? It's funny how we can see that happening in other people's lives but not our own sometimes. That mean person at the store, that low number in the checking account, that sickness, that plan falling through, that disappointment, that injustice. That decades long issue that you can't seem to shake. I am positive that we can find the activity of God right here, right now, sitting in our laps, written in our journals, poured out loud in our prayers...whatever we're thinking about, going through, working through, there it is! There is God writing your history, with something in mind that will ultimately give Him glory and help us know Him deeply if we will relax under His authority.

Receiving

I have felt like God has been whispering the word "receiving" in my ear for several months now. It's been sort of the theme of the year so far...And I want to unpack that a little in my blog today. What is so special about this word that I keep misspelling every time I write it?

At church on Sunday when I'm leading worship, I'm thinking about forgetting myself and coming into the presence of the Lord, giving Him praise and attention that He deserves. At home with my kids, I'm thinking about teaching them about Jesus, how to treat one another, and how to control oneself (things I'm still learning for myself!) In other different callings and things I'm involved in, I'm thinking of what I can contribute. And all the while, the Lord is whispering the word: Receiving. As I give, I must be simultaneously receiving--like an IV connecting me to the hidden place in Christ--and to be quite honest, if I'm not, I expect it to be necessary for the Lord to let the stream of "ministry" pouring out of my time here on earth run dry. He's done it before, and I bless Him for it! No one needs Lyndsay...they need Jesus pouring through me. And in community, I don't need you...I need Jesus pouring through you. How can this happen? Through doing more stuff for each other? Lists? Committees? Small groups? No, through receiving. Those other things are just about organization, which is helpful, but they can easily be empty, dry, man made.

Selah comes to me sometimes in tears feeling like she doesn't know how to "know" God, and I remember feeling that way for years and years. My expectation of myself was to have awesome quiet times and never lag in that connection, try to keep a clean record and a star chart of good behavior...but that wasn't knowing God (at all) and so it was a blessing to fail over and over, to finally learn that this relationship with God thing is all about, yes, receiving. I began to put every day items in a little box and give them to her, letting her realize the correlation that the Wite-Out, the pencil, the whatever, is there for the taking, to use, to enjoy, to help her schoolwork to be easier, but that until she took it, unwrapped it, and did something with it, she had not received it. Oh, to learn to let Him lavish us with His gifts! I'm not talking about material stuff; that's so cheap. God gives us what we need, but I mean, so much more...cleansing and grace, friendship and counsel, peace and joy.

Isaiah 55 says, "Come all you are thirsty, come to the waters and drink!! And you who have no money, come, buy and eat!" When we come with empty hands and space in our heart, that's exactly where He wants us to be. Are we doing everything right in our lives? Are we where we're supposed to be on this planet, doing what we're made for? We'll know only through coming and receiving. It's a step we can't skip...it's a step we must learn to stay on as well. "Why spend your money on what is not bread and your labor on what does not satisfy?" Our good works and efforts to please the Lord through following strict rules or doing what others think we should doesn't satisfy, doesn't bring us closer to the One Thing that satisfies. And He says, "Come to me and I will give you what you need. Your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Seek Me while I may be found (the time is now!) I will have mercy and will freely pardon, and I'll give you my Word which will never fail to accomplish what I sent it to you to accomplish." It's like He's saying, I've led the horse to water but I cannot make it drink. This part is something only we can do.

This whole thing is about receiving! Receiving difficulties--as Fenelon said in my last blog--and entrusting ourselves to Him in the midst of them. Receiving grace--no longer trying to make it on our own into a special club of His favorites (we're already in it, yes, we are all His favorites!) Total trust is when we just receive because we believe He allowed it, and if He allowed it, therefore it has meaning and purpose in His loving plan for us and is to be accepted. When I live in a posture of receiving, I can't help but simultaneously live in a posture of giving. When I live in a posture of receiving, then anxiety about "living right for God" is replaced with thankfulness that He would let me come so near and not have to do anything to "earn my keep."

What made me think of all this today is I was watching the musical Annie with my kids this afternoon. There's this part where Annie walks into Mr. Warbuck's mansion for her weeklong visit and is greeted by all the staff, and Ms. Ferrell says, "Annie, what would you like to do first?" And Annie, who has worked at the orphanage night and day for her whole life, smiles and says: "I'll start with the windows, then the floor..." And Ms. Ferrell says, "Annie, you aren't going to be doing any work here!" And Annie says, "Well, how will I earn my keep?" Ms. Ferrell replies: "Oh, Annie, you're our guest!" I could not stop the tears as I watched this today. I was imagining us in God's Kingdom finally understanding that we don't have to earn our keep. That we are His guests. We are receivers. Every calling, every position, every job, every role, every effort, every act of obedience flows naturally from a life of receiving, and the flow has an effect that we never thought possible.

By Fenelon

I'm sorry that I haven't had time to keep writing my "Living Love Story" blog...I am right in the middle of the Moses story, and I assume the Lord wants me to just hang there for a bit. I'll probably pick back up and start writing these stories of God's vision for intimacy with us throughout Biblical history soon. But in the meantime, I am met head on by the Spirit--in His challenging, convicting, deep to the marrow kind of personality--through this book, Let Go by Fenelon.

Fenelon was the Archbishop of Cambrai, France, during the 17th century. The introduction of this short devotional book tells us: "Fenelon had the opportunity of becoming the spiritual advisor of a small number of earnest people at the Court of Louis the Fourteenth, who sought, under Fenelon's wise direction, to live a life of true spirituality in the midst of a court life which was shamelessly immoral."
Here's an excerpt I have been mulling over all week:

"Evil circumstances are changed into good when they are received with an enduring trust in the love of God...

...while good circumstances may be changed into evil when we become attached to them through the love of self.

Nothing in us or around us is truly good until we become detached from the world and totally abandoned to God.

So, even though you are now in these bad circumstances, put yourself confidently and without reserve into His hand.

I would give anything to see you in better circumstances.

But if evil circumstances have taught you to be sick of the love of the world, then that is good.

That love of self, which the world advocates, is a thousand times more dangerous than any poison.

I pray for you with all my heart."