I had been rocking Yemi before bed, and I got a little emotional, thinking about some things in regard to Selah when she was a baby. I was thinking about the things I didn't get right, and the struggles I still have, the wisdom I still search for. I was feeling really insecure for a few moments about how I had spent these almost 5 years of motherhood...You moms may understand (?)...
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Anyway, after a little while, I was putting Selah to bed, and she said, "Mom, every night before I fall asleep, I look at that picture." (It's a picture of me holding Selah when she was 6 weeks old.) Then she said, "It makes me wonder when I'll go to heaven, and that maybe it'll be today!" I thought that was a little strange, and said, "Why would that picture make you think about that?" She said, "Because when I look at it, I see God holding me and loving me when I was a baby, and I see God holding you and loving YOU when I was a baby, too. It makes me so happy, I just want to stand on my bed, and raise my hands as high as I can, and praise the Lord!"
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Thank you, Lord, how could I ask for more? What else matters but that You are holding us and loving us? Fears and doubts can settle down, goals and plans can take their lower priority: Just as Selah was at rest in my arms in that picture, I am at rest in His arms. It's nice to remember that I am Someone's little child! I keep trying to be more than that.
First off, yes I understand that moment you were having.
ReplyDeleteSecond, what an awesome little girl you have! She is an amazing reflection of what a great mother you are!!
Made me want to cry, SOOO sweet!
Hope you are feeling better!? Most days at least!