Jack and I truly are searching through the night to find our place in this world. Good news is that we have found our place with each other and our dear little daughters. That is sure, and we find great fulfillment and comfort and thankfulness in that. Then above and beyond the family relationships, our place with Jesus--hidden in Him, alive in Him, complete in Him, tucked right in His arms bringing Him delight until the day we see His face--that's a place out of this world, actually, and it's all we really need.
But today through talking with some dear friends, I saw that God did make us all unique with specific gifts and talents that we need to work on and develop and feel free to spend our life doing...hopefully even doing for our career and income. Jack and I both feel like we were led astray a bit in our younger years, because we fit in the category of "called to vocational ministry" (meaning we would work for a Christian organization or church)...but I'm not sure that we fit there anymore. I'm not sure there are openings for us there, at least that would take care of our needs. We're not looking to be rich, but we do have to have money to live, unfortunately. I am fine with the fact that more and more opportunities in the church are volunteer...I'd even go as far as to say that's how it should be. However, that is what we went to school for and were trained to do. Now, we are left not fitting into any category.
I blogged before about what I would maybe go back to school for; it's fun to search and dream a little. But it's also a little stressful. Before kids, even before marriage, definitely before monthly bills, became a reality, the options did seem a little more open because the time and opportunity to work hard for those options seemed possible. Now, I just don't know.
I'll end my thoughts for today with this: I'd rather have a shortened life, a poor life, a difficult life even, doing what I was created to do than play it safe and just survive. So, may the Lord give us direction as we look at life in a new way.
It's good to know that I'm not alone in my inability to remember words to songs. It's so funny because most people can remember anything when put to music. That whole left brain/right brain working together thing. I guess the two sides of my brain don't always get along... :)
ReplyDeleteAs you said it really is a wonderful thing that jobs within the churches are moving to volunteers rather than paid employees. The most loving, charitable, unified churches that I've been members of in the past have been 100% volunteer run churches. There is such a "we're in it together" feeling, a "yeah, this is tough but we've gotta pull together to complete this project" feeling. Rather than a well, "they're paid to do this" feeling it's a "we're all important and very much needed" attitute. How wonderful!
Of course, that has left me without a career. As you said there are some of us that went to school for that and now find that we need another career. I'm not complaining it's rather been a wonderful adventure but I'll never forget the day I figured out, "I need a job and my college education isn't going to really help me out..." lol!!!
I'm still searching for my place in the world too. My ultimate goal is to be a stay at home mom, but in the meantime I need a pay check. So, I'm trying to figure all that out. Hopefully the pieces will come together sooner rather than later. :)