Thoughts about This...

Pretty vague title, I realize. So, I'll spill the beans...my thoughts are about the desire to adopt again! There are many reasons why this may never happen, so let's not get too excited, okay? (I was just talking to myself). The bottom line about this decision, far off as it may be, is if the Lord is specifically and strategically planning for us to bring another child into our family. It is not even an argument about adoption being a good thing, a topic on the very heart of God, and something all Christians should pray about...but just like i would tell any Christian, don't do it until God is telling you specifically to.

I tell Selah all the time (she's 7), "Selah, it would be a bigger help to me if you would do the things I ask you to do instead of ignore those things and pick out something else that you just think I want you to do." So. How does one know? If the desire and idea is there, if there is excitement about it, if there is opportunity,  if there are resources,  if you know it is something God loves...that would seem to be enough, but it's not. We have to know His voice personally about this, because He knows the end from the beginning. He has obviously given us part of His heart, His heart for the fatherless, but He gets to choose if that heart would be better used for adoption, for sponsoring lots of kids, for a different ministry altogether. That's why He's the One calling the shots. He knows the best way to make His stuff work out.

Right now, I believe I will bring the topic back up in January 2013 even though I hate to wait that long and at that time see how secure Jack's job is, how my health is, and a list of other variables. There are rules to go by, and reasons why we may not even be eligible to adopt. One thing I want God to reveal specifically is: Are there callings and things in our lives that are not supposed to move aside for another child? For example, if I am led and given opportunity to sing a lot, or travel with a missions organization, or if I am just thoroughly swamped with my home and family, something would have to budge in order to handle another adoption and a third little person who will come with his or her challenges.

On the other hand, this is how I really feel:
To me, it's a person and I'd much rather just go for it, knowing we are saving a life and showing God's love to someone who may not know Him otherwise. I'd rather just jump in and deal with whatever challenges and changes may come, knowing this was more important. But the fact is, I don't get to decide what is more important, because I can't see the impact of my obedience. For example, if Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman adopted more special needs kids from China (because they had the heart, desire, opportunity, resources, etc) and they spent their lives caring for them, and it took all they had to do that, they would never have started Show Hope or Maria's Big House. They had to LISTEN. They had to live the life they had, and I have to learn to do the same.

It is a good thing I'm not in charge.