Balance and Joy

My husband was watching a TED talk the other night on Netflix. I walked in and sat down and was really quickly drawn in to the topic. This young woman with kind of crazy hair and a funky dress on was talking about how she had suffered a concussion and went through severe brain trauma. She was very depressed at one point, and said that 1 in 3 concussion sufferers go through this extreme part of recovery. She was a video game creator, and she decided to make a video game to help her get well.

So she created this game that would motivate her to do very small (each taking less than a minute many times) tasks, and by making it a game she could play online with friends, she could bring in a little competition which would be even more motivating. You could get points for little things like going to sit by the window, or snapping your fingers 50 times. She had a mental, a physical, an emotional, and maybe a spiritual (I can't exactly remember) component to the game, and each challenge led to healing.

This reminded me of my favorite professor at Campbellsville U, Dr. Hurtgen. He said every day you need to open "each of your four doors." I will add social, making it five :). For a general sense of well being, we need to realize that we are not merely 100% spiritual or merely 100% physical.  We are all of the above and we need take a little time for each of these parts of our being every day instead of thinking "I'm eating great, why don't I feel good?" or "I'm around lots of friends, what's wrong?"

When we begin to feel "out of it" or depressed or just imbalanced, there is usually a door that we have either abandoned or let get stuck in a rut. God created us to be multi-faceted, right? It's fun to embrace who we are on all these levels, because He made us so uniquely. I love to find out what makes people tick. He made us mental, our brains are always at work. He made us emotional, our feelings are embedded in all we experience. He made us physical, our systems never stop. He made us social, even an introvert like me craves face time with people. He made us spiritual, and connects us to Himself through the Holy Spirit so that our Life in the spirit remains our anchor.

This TED talk speaker also said that she has learned through talking with people, especially those who have suffered much, that most of us don't allow ourselves to be happy. We think we're lazy or doing something wrong if we aren't worried or working ourselves to death. I am so so guilty of this!! I forget to relax and just enjoy life sometimes. I forget that the possibilities are endless. I forget how fragile and precious the people around me truly are. I forget the freedom both physical and spiritual I have been graciously given, with no work on my part to receive it. I forget that seasons change and it's okay to let go of things and that God isn't breathing down my neck about a single thing. Praise the LORD!

As believers, we can be happy in suffering because we have surrendered our wants to God...we aren't demanding our way anymore. We're saying, "God, I want life to the fullest, whatever You want that to look like." There is such joy in surrender, such peace in obedience, and such fulfillment in letting each day grow us a little more in all these parts of who we are.

Being Brave

This week I got to learn something about myself, and that is that I am a wimp.

But God is bringing opportunities to practice not being a wimp and I am excited about this.

Over the past month, there have been (now) four situations where my oldest daughter (age 8) has had some sort of conflict with a friend. Sometimes the mom told me about it, sometimes another adult friend told me about it, but I never saw it for myself nor did I have the chance to really get involved. After the third one (and like I said, all three being something I only heard of after the fact), I was beginning to feel really weird...wondering what character flaws were showing up and irking other people, wondering what was actually being said and done, how much was provoked, how much was immature and silly, how much was a necessary response (if any), and how much I needed to get involved and help her know how to handle these conflicts or keep them from happening in the first place. Ah, parenthood, right? 

So I brought it up with my friend, who was hosting my daughter for a sleepover. We had such an awesome talk about this; it was truly the Lord giving us a chance to help our daughters and at the same time, help ourselves get over any insecurities we might have about admitting character flaws and things we need to work on. It is hard enough to realize these things about yourself...but I think it takes a whole new big mama dose of the Holy Spirit to be able to realize and humbly speak of these things about your own precious flesh and blood that you feel "surely couldn't say or do that, at least without good reason".

It was great. We decided we would allow the conflicts that may come up to be a learning experience for all of us; to somewhat expect little issues and if they aren't worked out well by the girls themselves, us moms would step in and take our time to address it fully. We want to teach them how to get along, not leave it all up to them to "figure out". We want to let them make mistakes and know what to do after that happens, because that is going to happen, and maybe even learn how to steer clear of those relationship mistakes in the first place.

So, there was a conflict and the next day we all talked about it. We made sure everyone's feelings were validated. We called blame out where it was due. (A side note about this: it was probably easier for me in this particular instance because it was my girl who needed to do the apologizing. Its actually harder to be the one who was wronged because you don't want the other to feel too bad, or make a big deal, etc. but I think it takes bravery on both sides. The one who was wronged has to really stop and say, "Yes, I need you to apologize, that is what's fair" instead of "No, it's okay, forget it." The one who was wrong needs to stop and think about how it would feel if those words or actions had been done to them and then have a plan of action to make things right.) 

The great news is: I think both girls walked away with a sense of what they would do differently next time. Taking the time to deal with it instead of just gloss it over, with parents and apologies involved, made it unforgettable. For example, Selah stayed up late writing apology letters (that is plural because her problems didn't end with this one conflict with her friend! We had a rough day!) and then today I read a song she had written and left on the table. It brought tears to my eyes because it was two pages long (takes after her mama!) and it was all about how thankful she was that Jesus came to take away sin.  It was a beautiful worship song, and this was one of those times that God used pain and realization of her own brokenness to bring her to His feet.

We all need that. We all need to see the brokenness so we can be made whole! In relationships, to be made whole! With God, to be made holy! With ourselves, to not beat ourselves up but to rationally and maturely handle this balance of what God is doing in us vs. what we have already conquered. Humility is to agree with God about the reality of our fallen selves; forgiveness is to let Jesus's perfection cover us in that broken reality! We are not only allowed to, we are commanded to, walk in the freedom and joy of a forgiven and made holy person...and that's going to require facing things and doing whatever we have to do to make it right when at all possible.

So, lastly, this just brings me to say--I have been a wimp in my relationship with girlfriends. I haven't known how to handle conflict. I haven't used the opportunities I have been afforded to truly grasp skills that would allow forgiveness and freedom...and fun :) but I want to! And I think in stopping that cycle, in not allowing that to go on in how I train my daughters to relate with people, I myself am going to have to choose to be brave and stop and work things out with people regardless of how uncomfortable or afraid I am. I have always believed people could work anything out through prayer and talking, but I have still shied away from necessarily practicing that. It's so scary! Will I be too brash or will I call out specks when the plank is in my eye? Will I make things worse? Will I sound so self-secure that I will freak people out who aren't really in this same place of wanting to lay it all out on the table? 

I don't know, really. But I know I need to be brave and prayerfully handle, truly handle, issues when they come up. After all, our kids don't necessarily do what we say, they do what we do! And God continually gives us extra worksheets, extra homework, to really nail down a characteristic of HIS in our own lives so that we shine forth who Jesus is to the world...Oh, I love that He is all about doing that! Makes any discomfort or pain much more manageable to have heavenly purpose behind it.

So here is my honest and open prayer: "Lord, help me learn how to love, to create safe spaces for people to be themselves (even if I don't like or agree with all the pieces of who they are), and to have the humility to truly be myself even if someone doesn't like all these pieces of who I am (because that's actually okay). Help me learn how You would handle differences and bad moods and feelings, and help me give people freedom to be where they are, loving them right then and there instead of steering clear of them."  Can I hear an AMEN!? :)

What Is Up?

Well, no big thing, just SUMMER!!! That's what's up in the Taylor household :) and even though I don't feel like writing a big in-depth blog about the things closest to my heart at the moment, I can at least write about what is...you know...UP.

The garden is fun-We have a few tomatoes, one cucumber so far, lots of pretty pumpkin leaves, a few little green peppers...Um, I am realizing my garden gets very little sunshine. Wha-wha. So I may be doing a few containers of tomatoes and peppers next year and then planting only shade-loving veggies next year. All that to say, thank God for Aldi's...and friends with good gardens. I do still love just getting in the garden and weeding and seeing little things grow though.

Big break from homeschool-This year we decided to be ALL OUT during the summer and ALL IN the rest of the year. We'll see how that goes, I say with one eyebrow raised. Seriously though, I have gotten excited about planning out our curriculum and hours, and Yemi is already so excited that I have begun to do an hour of Kindergarten each day. But Selah, she is most definitely ALL OUT until August 13th. We are going to try a 4 day school week this year, Tues-Fri, because of my part time jobs. Then on Saturdays we can do any extra projects and creative things we may not have had time for during the week.

The part time jobs-Yes, this honestly will be what I remember about Summer '13. Seriously, I have taken on a little more than I should have, and yet I am grateful for the opportunity. Mondays I am working as a health coach at my doctor's office (LOVE IT!); I am learning a lot and will be beginning a certificate program in Holistic Nutrition online soon. Tuesdays I put in about 6 hours planning, praying, and practicing for worship at my church which meets in Louisville (journeylouisville.org). I am growing in this as well, and enjoying what God is doing there! Wednesdays and Thursdays I am teaching guitar and voice classes to kids, and I have 2 more weeks of this. It has been so cool to see Selah's musical talents take off this summer, as she has attended my classes with her friends! She is song writing, playing guitar really well, and is much more enthusiastic about piano lessons.

Reading-Finally. I have a tendency, always have, to read 5 books at a time. So my five this summer were/are: Mansfield Park (Read it, check! Weird ending, check!) Trim Healthy Mama (Learned a ton about nutrition, check! New recipes for sugar free desserts, check!) Let Go by Fenelon (Soul searching, check!) Abba's Child by Brennan Manning (Stopping every two pages to process, check!) and last but not least, The Book of Galatians (Ready to engage in our summer sermon series, check!)

Well...that's good for now. Everyone is doing well and honestly I just feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Maybe later will post some pics from summer fun and talk about what I think our homeschool will look like this coming year. :)

"Only One Word Perhaps..."

It is amazing how God uses the saints as vessels for His Spirit to dwell and bring messages to others! I am reached personally yet again by Fenelon, a Christian in the 17th century (!) and I want to share this with you today because it is the Lord speaking directly to my frazzled mind.

"When it comes to accomplishing things for God, you will find that high aspirations, enthusiastic feelings, careful planning, and being able to express yourself well are not worth very much. The important thing is absolute surrender to God. You can do anything He wants you to do if you are walking in the light of full surrender.

Living in this blessed way involves a continual death which is known to very few, but it is in this position that you can be really effective for God. A single word spoken to another person from this restful, abandoned position will do more to change circumstances than all our most eager and carefully planned schemes...Only one word perhaps--but it enlightens, persuades, blesses, and moves to action."

I am learning the obedient action of praying before and during each task, especially those that involve others, because like that old joke says, "My attitudes and behaviors were perfect today...until I got out of bed." I am downright saintly until I am pushed and prodded by people, voices, demands, tiredness, hunger, heat, cold, whatever (it doesn't take much!) So, before I am meeting someone for health coaching, or while I am singing, or before I begin (and certainly during) homeschool, even before sitting down with my husband to talk...I am learning the beauty of leaning in hard on the Lord and letting Him know that I know I will only have as much to give as He personally gives me in those moments. To say, "Oh, Lord, I know- I deeply know- that this is all You" is a peaceful place of submission and dependence.

In quietness and rest is our strength. In the peaceful abandon of our own spirits to the Lord, we have a deep reservoir in which to draw for that one word that may sustain a friend...not our word, but the Lord's. And as most of my blog entries end, this brings us back to personally staying in His presence and carefully removing that which makes us frazzled and disconnected. I think it is the work of our lives, our true job, to remain peaceful in the palm of His hand. Some of us have busier schedules than others, some of us don't have much to juggle; but wherever He has placed us, I know that He will make it possible to practice His presence and lean into Him for each interaction we have with others, and in this way, we are vessels to speak His words without even realizing it. This is my aim and my heart's desire...

Wheat and Sugar Free for Kids!

So, a friend asked me to give some healthy meal and snack ideas for kiddos. Here are some of the things we eat around here. I don't think there will be anything exciting and new, but maybe it will help!

We eat combinations of a protein and carb at most meals. Proteins are: meats, beans, legumes, dairy (but we rarely eat dairy), nuts, seeds, etc. Carbs are: Veggies, fruits, grains. So you can see in most meals here, both are present. We also add a healthy fat usually to meals where the protein is lean, such as roasting/grilling veggies with olive oil or a salad with dressing made with olive oil, or protein shake with coconut oil.

Meals and Snacks:
Almond milk and flaxseed pumpkin cereal (or another organic, low or no sugar added cereal)
Eggs (scrambled and boiled are our favorites) and blueberries or strawberries
Omelets with cheese, red or green peppers, red onion, and sometimes sausage or bacon--confession!)
Oatmeal (with a little "real" maple syrup and frozen blueberries)
Protein shakes with spinach, ground flaxseed, frozen fruit, whey protein powder, coconut oil
Salad: spinach, lettuce, tomatoes, fruit, pumpkin seeds, carrots, walnuts
Raw walnuts, almonds, pecans, pumpkin seeds, or cashews with raw veggies like carrots, cucumbers, peppers, or broccoli
All natural peanut/almond butter with celery, rice cake, apple slices, or just a spoonful of PB and a fruit or veggie
All natural pb with spreadable fruit on rice cakes
Taco salad: Spinach, tomatoes, beef browned with cumin & chili powder, maybe some shredded cheese, non GMO corn tortilla chips (Aldi's or Trader Joe's), black bean and corn salsa
Chili with Laura's lean beef (Kroger), beans, etc., adding in pureed sweet potato
Other homemade soups like Pasta Fagioli, chicken tortilla soup, veggie, etc, all pasta is brown rice pasta
Spaghetti with brown rice pasta, beef, and low sugar or homemade spaghetti sauce
Many different "chicken in the crock pot" meals with brown rice and a salad or quinoa and a salad
Roasted veggies like sweet potato fries, broccoli, potatoes, etc with chicken or fish
Beans and brown rice
Grilled veggies like peppers, onions, mushrooms with grilled chicken or fish
Frozen fruit: pineapple tidbits, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, straight from the freezer


That's pretty much what we eat around here! We try to keep anything processed or junky out of the house. It is so easy to grab stuff like pretzels, chips, granola bars, and gummy fruit snacks when we're hungry...and then we over eat these "foods" because none of them have nutrients that nourish our bodies. So keeping these all out of the house helps a lot. We try to make half of every plate raw veggies and/or fruits.

Also, we pack snacks every day that we are leaving the house so we don't get stuck in town starving! We pack baggies of nuts, seeds, green peppers, raisins, carrots, grapes, strawberries, apple slices, and sometimes rice cakes and peanut butter. Wish I had more exciting foods to share with you, but these are all nutrient dense and filling, and I'm sure we'll branch out and find new things as we learn!

Kids will eat good food if that's all they are offered. Try cooking the veggies in different ways, or just keep offering them raw, maybe one slice of green pepper a day. They aren't going to like all of them, but they will get used to many and eventually this will be the new normal. We have a couple types of dips in the house, like ranch dressing (as all natural as I can find until I learn to make my own), and I think if kids need bbq sauce, salad dressing, butter, or cheese to eat these foods, that's fine. Eventually they will not need these extras. Tastes change! Whole food supplements such as Juice Plus can help them change; it's really amazing!

Journey Well

I am that girl who both loves and struggles with certain things. I have several of those "love-hate" relationships in my life. For example, I love to write, but often when I go to write about something, it feels like I am staring down the face of a mountain. I love to run, but it's more about how I feel afterwards than during the actual experience. And lastly, I love the topic of nutrition and holistic wellness, but that doesn't mean I don't have my fair share of struggling with the knowledge I obtain! It's a lifelong game of tug-o-war, pulling between what I am genuinely passionate about, or what I genuinely know I need to do, and the fear of failure (or sometimes just laziness) that tugs the other way!

When it comes to nutrition, I've found that many people I know feel the same way. We care about nutrition, we believe food matters to our health--some believe this to a greater extent than others--but there is a challenge there to find the right path, get on it, and stay on it. Three years ago when I was diagnosed with Adrenal Fatigue, I thought I was a healthy eater. I was raised to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, only whole grains and whole wheat products, the only liquid I consumed was water, and I went on a walk most days of the week. But I had acid reflux, I was overweight, I had headaches almost every day, and I hate to say it, but I was losing handfuls of hair daily! When my blood work came back, my cholesterol was high and several other numbers were not showing the insides of a healthy woman. I had to learn (and I admit I took the slow path) what my body needed. But eventually, after trying the path of least resistance with no results a few times, I got to my goal weight, almost every number on the blood work got back where it belonged, and I eventually became sugar and wheat free which eliminated even more of my health symptoms.

And because of that, because of the journey I have been on to greater health in this crazy-perspective-on-food kind of world, I am excited to begin training as a Health Coach! Under the mentorship of my Nurse Practitioner, Shelley Roby, in Elizabethtown, I'm beginning to some of see her patients (and others outside of her practice) to help them get on an eating and exercise plan. A large part of this experience will be not only suggesting pairing nutrient dense foods in the right amounts throughout the day, but partnering with these clients, encouraging them on their journey to wellness. I am not a medical professional, and will only be offering information that clients could obtain themselves from a variety of sources if they wanted to do their own research. A Health Coach is to a Nutritionist what a Life Coach is to a Licensed Therapist. I will suggest and encourage all-natural and balanced plans, with foods that can be locally bought on clients' varying budgets...and I will help them stick with those plans as they encounter the hurdles that inevitably will come.

To begin with, each client that I meet with will fill out a Health Questionnaire which gives me information on their current lifestyle in regard to food, exercise, rest, etc. Then we'll talk through what I call "Green Light Foods" and "Red Light Foods". As the client shares with me what they like to eat from the Green list, we'll make a list of sample meals and what a perfect day of eating (and being satisfied!) will look like. Items from the Red list will be avoided as much as possible, but we'll talk about alternatives to many of these "foods". We'll discuss what these foods (both good and bad) do for you, and why your physical and even emotional health depends on you making good choices. We'll make a plan for exercise and splurges, and also everyone will have the accountability of a food journal to turn into me weekly by email. We'll meet together as necessary, and also correspond by email often.

Feeding ourselves seems like something we should have figured out at the age of 3, right? But this ever important task is more than just filling our tank with calories and making it from day to day. Food makes the difference between rising and shining, or just dragging from event to event. It makes the difference between being able to think clearly or be foggy-headed, living in a body you like or constantly feeling ashamed.  Who knows what medicines will be tossed out and what sizes we will easily slip into when we eat the way the systems of our bodies need us to, as opposed to being enslaved to traditions, cravings, and addictions.

You can email me at journeywell@lyndsaytaylor.com if you'd like to have a consultation and begin partnering with me on this journey to wellness! Everyone has different needs, desires, and paces in which to travel, and I would love to walk with you for awhile. I really believe I can help you know what to do...and actually do it! And you will know that I am doing it right there with you, because this is a lifelong challenge!

His "What??" Is Easy?

I have always liked Matthew 11:25-30, and here's the couple of verses in that passage most of us have heard, maybe even memorized: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." I liked it, but I couldn't say I got a lot out of it personally. But this week, I asked for understanding...

I'm sure this just scrapes the surface, but there are three literally life-changing truths in this that pertain to me and you! How could Jesus say the yoke upon Him was easy and His burden was light? What does being gentle and humble have to do with it? How could He say having that same yoke upon us would bring rest to our souls? What the heck is a yoke anyway?

A yoke is a steering mechanism in short, put on animals, as they do their tasks in the fields or on their journey. A burden is whatever that animal may be carrying for their masters. We learn in Hebrews that although Jesus was perfect and never sinned, He was learning obedience to the Father all the while, through His trials. His "yoke" was the Father's constant guidance and authority over His life throughout all the situations He was in. The yoke upon Jesus (put on and steered by His Father) led Him to the cross. And yet Jesus says it was "easy", and invites us to the same relationship of Father/Son, Master/Yoke Carrier, promising rest if we will learn this from Him.

So what can I learn from Jesus here? Here are the three answers I find:
1) Jesus knew His Father's heart. He was all up in His business! He knew the bottom line His Father was looking for in gaining the hearts of the world He created...and Jesus was on board. He truly wanted what His Dad wanted, and they were on the same team. So even in the agony that yoke brought Him, it would have been more agonizing, more of a burden, to have lost sight of all He had in His identity as the Son of God! The same is so true for us. This life is short! This is our chance, while we wait for His return, to be about His business--and that comes in varying forms of personal obedience. No preacher can tell you His business for your life...it begins with making God's heart (His Word, communication with Him, practicing His presence, learning obedience through difficulties) your #1 priority. Of all the WWJD statements we could assume upon Jesus, we know for a fact His #1 priority was keeping in line with the Father's heart, and that was a JOY to Him.

2) Why else could He say His yoke was easy and His burden light? Because He was gentle. He made the choice time after time after time to not resist the Lord's will. He allowed the guidance of His Father to happen without pulling in another direction or figuring out another way, choosing submission, and in this way, He lived His life to the fullest of what it was supposed to be. Have you ever seen a child use all their energy fighting against the thing that would have allowed them to have a wonderful day? A healthy meal, a seat in a comfy stroller, a life jacket so they could play in deep water for hours! May I say most of us, including me, are not used to being gentle under God's yoke on us, if we've even allowed His yoke to be upon us in the first place! We have our plans, our own ways we want our lives to turn out. When we think of living life to the fullest, are these the qualifications for that title?:
-Dying at 33 years old
-Being misunderstood by 99% of the people who knew us
-Being executed as a criminal
-Your life ending before your own mother's
-Having no money, no home, nothing to pass on to anybody of material resources
-No spouse, no children
...And this was God's Plan A for His Beloved Son!

Why do we expect the complete opposite? Why do we buck when God allows suffering, expecting and sometimes demanding He do something different for His children?

We can trust Him. We can be gentle under His leadership of our lives. He didn't make mistakes with His Son and He will not make mistakes with us. Everything the enemy intends for evil in our lives, God can turn around for glorious good if we will relax under His movements.

3) And one last thought about how He could call this yoke easy and this way of life restful--He was humble. In Philippians 2:5-11 we remember what humility really means. Jesus' example of humility that we can follow is that He knew His place, or I should say places. At the exact same time, Jesus "did not consider equality with God something to be grasped" and knew He was a member of the Trinity! And for us, we cannot live our lives thinking God owes us anything, we can't live with this chip on our shoulder like we are waiting for God to give us special treatment, but at the exact same time, we are called to remember we are co-heirs with Christ, with a heavenly destiny, and a Father who thinks of us constantly, brimming over with love and care! Recognizing that all we have and all we are is a gift that we didn't deserve...that's a first step to humility. Recognizing that God gets to interpret His promises toward us--He alone has that right--brings peace. We can spend our lives shaking an angry fist to the heavens because we don't understand His ways, or we can choose humility and say, "Who am I to understand it all, who am I that You would share your thoughts with me?" Maybe Jesus isn't saying you have to be gentle and humble and take His yoke upon you, maybe He was just saying do this if you want rest and peace? I believe in some good wrestling with God...and I believe it's only healthy if it's a short term sport!

This resting doesn't mean I have no opinion of my own, and it doesn't mean I am in such amazing contact with the Father that I know everything I do all day was His will! But there is a sense of ease in trusting, learning gentleness when unexpected messes come my way, learning humility when my hopes are dashed, and believing the end goal of my life is following in line with God's end goal, even if it doesn't look like I would have planned.

We aren't on our own down here. He never asked us to figure out what to do and then do it on our own strength. He gives us a recipe for rest...and this recipe strips everything from us...but that everything was killing us. He invites us to come.

Happy Mothers Day Week!

Hey friends! I am celebrating Mother's Day Week by putting up some fun videos on YouTube! So far, I have recorded "If I Could" so I hope you'll listen and share it with some moms in your life. :) I think every parent can relate to the hopes and prayers of this song. On Friday, I'll be posting on YouTube a song that I also believe every mom can relate to...More to come about that! :) Also, there is "In the Waiting", the song I wrote for Yemi about our journey to adopt her; that is on the YouTube channel already, and I'd like to get the kids involved in a little recording of "Beautiful Mess" sometime this week as well! Yay!

Here's a link to the "lyndsaytaylormusic" channel on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/user/LyndsayTaylorMusic

My sweet Yemi, who will turn 5 years old at the end of July-and my dear Selah, almost age 8.

2 Weeks

Things have been a little busy and juggling isn't really my thing...

But here I am anyway. Several things have converged at the same time, for a season. We had a Sister Bridge Leadership Team meeting to discuss things for the Fall Season, which I'm very excited about. And (drum roll), I get to go to Africa this summer to meet and lead worship for the Timbali Women's Retreat! I'm so excited. Can't believe I get to go! Joanna and I started work on our new EP, Beloved, which is going to be a great album to help His Bride just gaze and linger and enjoy and be enjoyed. Along with that is trying to be a good steward of the investment I've made in my previous CDs. Since I don't sing in concert much, it's a challenge to sell CDs, so I am using social media some (YouTube, FB, etc) to try to get the word out about my stuff. I hope it hasn't been annoying. Some people didn't know I had a 3rd CD out, and it's been out a year. Publicity just comes with the "being an indie artist" thing, but it's worth it! I love being able to make my own music. I'm so appreciative of those who support me! Homeschool is still going strong, we aren't stopping for the summer, but rather having a year with flexible days off throughout. Journey is going well, and our theme of "Water=Life" has been so cool, as we study Jesus as the Living Water and paralleled to that how we can be His hands and feet to bring living, clean water to communities that need it. Our worship team has grown and that's been FUN! And we've been swimming a lot; the girls are taking lessons; and we get to go to the beach in 2 weeks! YAY!

My health has been better, as I've been getting good amounts of sleep, and am still wheat and sugar free. I've lost 17 pounds, and that is a huge surprising praise. It is a job taking good care of myself, but of course one of my most important ones. At the same time, I'm getting to take care of my family, because while I don't like food being such an important part of my life, it simply is. My whole family is off wheat and sugar, and keeping the kids full is a challenge! They have SO much energy on this diet, and such an appetite. Yemi's "potty problems" have almost entirely went away, and Jack is losing weight. It's worth the work of preparing food all day!

About the multi-tasking... I just want to stay relaxed and not allow the juggling to first of all, take me from my top priorities, and second of all, to become a stress. None of these things are stressful in themselves. They are a gift that I don't want to turn into a burden...but I have the tendency to do so! The Lord is so good, because every time I come to Him He gently reminds me to keep my "durn hands off!" Haha! :) Seriously, though, all these things I have mentioned are things I feel called to be a part of, but not things I am called to worry about! Also, they are not things I need to get prideful or over involved in, and I have to keep a constant check to make sure I am not operating out of wrong motives.

It is awesome to feel like I can look at this list of things God has me involved in and truthfully say I could walk away from it in an instant if He wants me to. Years ago, these things would have been my identity. But He has changed all of that!! My top priorities are not any of these things, they are extras, and they have to be treated as such! My walk with Jesus is not the same thing as my ministry with the church or missions or music, anymore than my cooking and preparing food for Jack is the same thing as a loving intimate marriage!

To be with Jesus, communing all day. To give special attention to my husband. To love and guide my children. To take care of myself as the Lord has given me wisdom and resources to do so. These can be the hardest things...being busy is sometimes easier! But these are what I come back to. If these aren't happening, it's time to cut some ties...

I Want To Remember This

Tonight as I was putting Yemi to bed, she of course called me back in her room for one last something.

She asked: "Mom, what if at school somebody doesn't like me and thinks I'm stupid?"
I said: "Well, that doesn't feel good, but you can just say to yourself, 'There are lots of people who do like me and Jesus does not think I'm stupid, so I'm happy no matter what they think!'"
She said: "But I don't want people to not like me."
I said: "I know how that feels, Yemi, and it's not fun. But it does happen like that sometimes, and we have to just love those people and love ourselves, too."
She said: "So if someone's being mean to me, I can just go somewhere else... but before I do, I'll say to them, 'I don't like that, but I love you' and I'll kiss them on their head and go!"

Yes! Wow. I think she gets it. I pray she really does do this, and I pray we ALL do!

As children formed by God's hand in our mother's womb--in His image even--we never have reason to let someone's cruel or insensitive words or feelings toward us get under our skin. If we are full to the brim of what He says about us, then we can honestly need no input from others...and when we get it, we don't absorb it. We don't have to receive it. I'm learning that when people are jerks, for lack of a better word, they have a problem, not me...so we can joyfully pray, offer grace, give the kind of love we've been given from God...and walk away unaffected. Easier said than done? Yes. And we'll be tested often! But this is a goal to work towards I think.

Maybe we'll think of Yemi's kiss on the head to a class bully, then run off to carelessly play, the next time we have the chance to be offended.

Living Love Story #9: Over the Top

There are certain times in life we remember better than others. A once in a lifetime vacation we remember a little better than day trips to the zoo. An outfit or pair of shoes we begged our parents for we remember better than humdrum school clothes. Sometimes we remember a gift because it was wrapped in a box that was 10x too big or we remember a surprise party better than a simple little one we planned. To remember something, we have to go through a series of strong emotions, we have to be awakened by a little bit of both agony and sheer joy! Think about a time you had a serious illness and were healed, or someone you love passed away, or when someone new came into your family--you can remember details about that season of your life whereas typically you would have no idea what you were doing that week. When things stand out of the ordinary, we remember it and we find ourselves telling and retelling the story.

I think that's a little bit of what God was up to when He delivered the Israelites out of Egypt in the epic story of Moses, Pharoah, and the Crossing of the Red Sea. He has a crazy strategy; He plans a true saga! (That has to be right because look how many movies have been made about it!) The flies, the blood, the gnats, the sons, the magicians, the staff, the snake, Moses and his stuttering tongue, Aaron and his apparent eloquence...none of these things even mattered! They were just pawns in God's hand to play out a story, a story that God wanted to stamp into the history of this book called God's Fanatical Love For the People of Israel. (Yep, I just called God a fanatic!) In Exodus 10:1-2, God lays it out plainly. He makes it clear He has never for one moment been in a submissive posture as this story unfolds. He orchestrated it--even down to the details of Pharoah's stubborn hardened heart--to give Israel a chance to see in the uncut, unedited form Who He Is. So that they would never forget. So that they would keep telling this over the top story to their children and their children's children, forever and ever, amen. It's like a great engagement story or "when I knew he would be my future husband" story...those moments that lead to a depth of relationship. He wanted them to know Him.

God will do whatever He's gotta do for His own to know Him and come close, and we can know whatever He does is gonna be memorable. And the very cool part about Him is that anyone who will come into the fold is welcome, becoming an instantaneous loved one, equally valuable and protected as He demonstrates in all of these chapters and these specific verses (Ex. 11:7, Ex. 12:13, Ex. 14:13-14, Ex. 14:25) Did God play favorites in this story of the Israelites and Egyptians? Of course He did. If there is a fold, there will be those in the fold and those out of it. I don't particularly like that, but its still true. So what is my amazing, philosophical, theological response? Get in the fold, enjoy being His favorite, and be a living invitation to everyone around you!

In our lives now, what would happen if we viewed everything that comes our way as part of an illustrious memorable story God is writing to teach us of His character and to make us more like Him? It's funny how we can see that happening in other people's lives but not our own sometimes. That mean person at the store, that low number in the checking account, that sickness, that plan falling through, that disappointment, that injustice. That decades long issue that you can't seem to shake. I am positive that we can find the activity of God right here, right now, sitting in our laps, written in our journals, poured out loud in our prayers...whatever we're thinking about, going through, working through, there it is! There is God writing your history, with something in mind that will ultimately give Him glory and help us know Him deeply if we will relax under His authority.

Receiving

I have felt like God has been whispering the word "receiving" in my ear for several months now. It's been sort of the theme of the year so far...And I want to unpack that a little in my blog today. What is so special about this word that I keep misspelling every time I write it?

At church on Sunday when I'm leading worship, I'm thinking about forgetting myself and coming into the presence of the Lord, giving Him praise and attention that He deserves. At home with my kids, I'm thinking about teaching them about Jesus, how to treat one another, and how to control oneself (things I'm still learning for myself!) In other different callings and things I'm involved in, I'm thinking of what I can contribute. And all the while, the Lord is whispering the word: Receiving. As I give, I must be simultaneously receiving--like an IV connecting me to the hidden place in Christ--and to be quite honest, if I'm not, I expect it to be necessary for the Lord to let the stream of "ministry" pouring out of my time here on earth run dry. He's done it before, and I bless Him for it! No one needs Lyndsay...they need Jesus pouring through me. And in community, I don't need you...I need Jesus pouring through you. How can this happen? Through doing more stuff for each other? Lists? Committees? Small groups? No, through receiving. Those other things are just about organization, which is helpful, but they can easily be empty, dry, man made.

Selah comes to me sometimes in tears feeling like she doesn't know how to "know" God, and I remember feeling that way for years and years. My expectation of myself was to have awesome quiet times and never lag in that connection, try to keep a clean record and a star chart of good behavior...but that wasn't knowing God (at all) and so it was a blessing to fail over and over, to finally learn that this relationship with God thing is all about, yes, receiving. I began to put every day items in a little box and give them to her, letting her realize the correlation that the Wite-Out, the pencil, the whatever, is there for the taking, to use, to enjoy, to help her schoolwork to be easier, but that until she took it, unwrapped it, and did something with it, she had not received it. Oh, to learn to let Him lavish us with His gifts! I'm not talking about material stuff; that's so cheap. God gives us what we need, but I mean, so much more...cleansing and grace, friendship and counsel, peace and joy.

Isaiah 55 says, "Come all you are thirsty, come to the waters and drink!! And you who have no money, come, buy and eat!" When we come with empty hands and space in our heart, that's exactly where He wants us to be. Are we doing everything right in our lives? Are we where we're supposed to be on this planet, doing what we're made for? We'll know only through coming and receiving. It's a step we can't skip...it's a step we must learn to stay on as well. "Why spend your money on what is not bread and your labor on what does not satisfy?" Our good works and efforts to please the Lord through following strict rules or doing what others think we should doesn't satisfy, doesn't bring us closer to the One Thing that satisfies. And He says, "Come to me and I will give you what you need. Your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Seek Me while I may be found (the time is now!) I will have mercy and will freely pardon, and I'll give you my Word which will never fail to accomplish what I sent it to you to accomplish." It's like He's saying, I've led the horse to water but I cannot make it drink. This part is something only we can do.

This whole thing is about receiving! Receiving difficulties--as Fenelon said in my last blog--and entrusting ourselves to Him in the midst of them. Receiving grace--no longer trying to make it on our own into a special club of His favorites (we're already in it, yes, we are all His favorites!) Total trust is when we just receive because we believe He allowed it, and if He allowed it, therefore it has meaning and purpose in His loving plan for us and is to be accepted. When I live in a posture of receiving, I can't help but simultaneously live in a posture of giving. When I live in a posture of receiving, then anxiety about "living right for God" is replaced with thankfulness that He would let me come so near and not have to do anything to "earn my keep."

What made me think of all this today is I was watching the musical Annie with my kids this afternoon. There's this part where Annie walks into Mr. Warbuck's mansion for her weeklong visit and is greeted by all the staff, and Ms. Ferrell says, "Annie, what would you like to do first?" And Annie, who has worked at the orphanage night and day for her whole life, smiles and says: "I'll start with the windows, then the floor..." And Ms. Ferrell says, "Annie, you aren't going to be doing any work here!" And Annie says, "Well, how will I earn my keep?" Ms. Ferrell replies: "Oh, Annie, you're our guest!" I could not stop the tears as I watched this today. I was imagining us in God's Kingdom finally understanding that we don't have to earn our keep. That we are His guests. We are receivers. Every calling, every position, every job, every role, every effort, every act of obedience flows naturally from a life of receiving, and the flow has an effect that we never thought possible.

By Fenelon

I'm sorry that I haven't had time to keep writing my "Living Love Story" blog...I am right in the middle of the Moses story, and I assume the Lord wants me to just hang there for a bit. I'll probably pick back up and start writing these stories of God's vision for intimacy with us throughout Biblical history soon. But in the meantime, I am met head on by the Spirit--in His challenging, convicting, deep to the marrow kind of personality--through this book, Let Go by Fenelon.

Fenelon was the Archbishop of Cambrai, France, during the 17th century. The introduction of this short devotional book tells us: "Fenelon had the opportunity of becoming the spiritual advisor of a small number of earnest people at the Court of Louis the Fourteenth, who sought, under Fenelon's wise direction, to live a life of true spirituality in the midst of a court life which was shamelessly immoral."
Here's an excerpt I have been mulling over all week:

"Evil circumstances are changed into good when they are received with an enduring trust in the love of God...

...while good circumstances may be changed into evil when we become attached to them through the love of self.

Nothing in us or around us is truly good until we become detached from the world and totally abandoned to God.

So, even though you are now in these bad circumstances, put yourself confidently and without reserve into His hand.

I would give anything to see you in better circumstances.

But if evil circumstances have taught you to be sick of the love of the world, then that is good.

That love of self, which the world advocates, is a thousand times more dangerous than any poison.

I pray for you with all my heart."

The Cross and the Throne

I wanted to share a couple of thoughts today that are making this Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday extremely meaningful to me.  God has graciously given me some touch points this frazzled brain of mine can hold to when I'm feeling disconnected from the beautiful truths of this weekend.

About a week ago, my 4 year old daughter was acting really out of control, and unfortunately, me in my 34 years of wisdom "decided" to go there with her. I had been through hours of her difficult behavior, and had stayed so calm and quiet and firm, until all of a sudden I was the complete opposite of those things. I yelled at her and slammed the door and just acted like a fool. A few minutes later I went back to her and her sister, and in tears, I asked for their forgiveness. They were precious; we hugged and kissed, and while I didn't feel like I deserved such immediate love, they gave it. Then I asked them to please pray with me. I closed my eyes and as I began to pray, asking for God's forgiveness for my anger and lack of self control, I saw a bright red drop of blood. Still with my eyes closed, this is what I saw in the darkness--a bright red drop of blood. I felt Jesus saying, "When drops of my blood spilled onto the ground, it was for this, it was for you. It was for all these moments when you realize you are not righteous on your own and have no where to turn and no where to go to be cleansed, but to Me." I will never forget this, and this Good Friday I see that drop of blood in my mind and all I can say is "It cleanses and covers me. I'll take it and let it do it's work in me. Thank You, Jesus."

And then not too long ago my friend shared on Facebook about her newborn son dying. He would be a teenager now and she was writing a message on his birthday. Her message to him brought me to tears and I was speechless--I don't know where she found the words, except that the Holy Spirit gave them to her. She reminded all of us reading that her son's very existence in Heaven with Jesus, that his eternal life that began on his birthday, is proof of the Resurrection. Because Jesus was victorious over death and the grave, SO SHALL WE BE if we are in Christ! If He had not risen, what hope do we have of His promise of our own resurrection? None at all. What hope would we have of seeing the saints, the children, and our loved ones who have gone before us someday in Glory? None at all. But because He lives, so do they, and so will we. Full of His Spirit here, alive in the light of His Face there. It's a win-win situation, as all things are in Christ.

May this sacred weekend bring you and your family to the Cross and to the Throne, both of which are available fully and freely to ANYONE, all because of our hero, Jesus Christ.

Thoughts for the Beloved...

Hello Friends. I am not quite sure when I blogged last, but it certainly feels like its been awhile!
It is a good time, with Spring (maybe?) on the brink...

In my heart though, there is some turmoil. I feel the turmoil of inequality, abuse, and poverty when I get prayer requests from International Justice Mission, or when I write letters to our sponsored children, or when I hear news about Mali or Israel, or when I wait with adoptive families for news so much slower than Christmas. I've learned that this grief is a part of my life, and I bear it with the Lord, with being the key word. But there is a different kind of turmoil, and I think many in our country feel it right now. It's the turmoil of disagreement and strife among friends and family and believers that has risen due to issues of morality. It seems that we are all stepping over each other, raising our hands, jumping up and down, trying to get our version of "values" picked. I'm not saying we should be silent, Beloved. But here are some thoughts I'm wanting to focus on in these times...

I am comforted by the truth that this was never supposed to be my home. As believers, we are ambassadors! Think of a foreign ambassador and what they do! The US Ambassador to Kenya doesn't try to make the Kenyans live and think and act like Americans. No, they simply represent their country to the best of their ability. We represent the Kingdom of God with the help of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes that means we put in our 2 cents about moral standards, I certainly don't see why we can't because as light we brighten and as salt we enhance--our words of truth and wisdom can be great gifts--but most of the time I think being an ambassador is just going to mean we remember we are strangers, we don't expect to have a country at all like our own, we aim to hold true personally to the standards of our own King, and we offer luxurious gifts of grace and love from Him to anyone who will receive them.

I believe that the feelings that flare up inside when our moral standards are not agreed upon by the masses or the lawmakers comes from two things. One, we are feeling God's sadness that people are turning farther and farther from His touch and His wise parental guidance. It's hard to see our country which has been blessed as "One Nation Under God" slowly but surely make that last word taboo. It's heartbreaking when believers interpret the Word differently than each other and feel that they could not possibly be wrong. Christian values doesn't even mean the same thing to me as it may to you! That's because none of us are perfectly in sync with the heart of God. But on the issues that I know for sure break God's heart,  I am learning that these difficulties and disagreements should simply lead us to pray so much more, and make our grief over these things more of a vertical conversation rather than a horizontal one.

Two, I think we are upset because we're simply afraid. It is normal for a child to feel fear when they are not given boundaries, or when they live inside boundaries but all of a sudden no one else is enforcing their playmate's boundaries. When we feel the morality ship is starting to sink, we become afraid and insecure, because we see that the lack of boundaries is going to bring bondage and negative natural consequences instead of freedom and rewards, like we see in families where the parents refuse to discipline their children. When we feel afraid though, we must remember that this is not our home. We're not supposed to settle in comfortably and build a fort around our families, hoping to escape the consequences of the actions we were four square against. Its just like in a marriage or a tight knit community. Whether you like what a loved one did or not, you're likely going to have to suffer the effects of their choices right along with them, at the very least indirectly...and that makes us scared. And sure, angry, too. But we don't need to be afraid.

We are just passing through, friends. We were not promised reward, physical freedom, luxury, ease, or safety here in this foreign land! We should expect turmoil, disagreement (while we don't go looking for it, Jesus never once sugar coated the truth in order to make peace), misinterpretation of our beliefs, misunderstanding of our intentions... and we should bear up under these peaceably without taking offense, like Jesus. Don't be afraid to live by your consciences, that doesn't make you prejudiced or judgmental! That's your right as a human being to think what you want! But we must remember the gentleness in which Jesus showed the heart of God to the world. As the Beloved, remember this: "When they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He made no threats. Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly. He Himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls." (1 Peter 2:23-25)

The humility of a forgiven sinner can go a long way in shining the light of Jesus in a dark world.

Sacred Moments

I just finished putting the girls to bed, and was blessed with some very sweet moments. I admit I rush through bedtime so often! Just want to get.to.the.couch!  But tonight I was a little more at ease. I thought I'd share these...

I kissed Yemi goodnight and she said, "Can I sing a song to you?" And I said yes. She sang:
"Jesus loves the little mommies. All the mommies of the world. Yellow, red, and black and white, they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little mommies of the world." :)

I kissed Selah goodnight and she said, "Can you lay down and talk for a minute?" And I said yes. (How thankful I am for that question! I hope she always asks!) She was talking about some struggles and thoughts for a minute. God is teaching me to listen and not freak out and offer too much advice; this will be a lifelong lesson for me, but for certain personalities, I'm learning they just need to talk things out and not have someone react but just listen and trust they will work it out. Anyway, then she got silly...then she got serious...then she said, "You know what, Mom? When I grow up, my dream is to be Abraham Lincoln #2. When I die I want to be able to say I did my very best to end slavery in the world." I felt like a Jewish father on the Sabbath, resting my hand on her shoulder and blessing her, saying amen to that desire. (And of course I felt like I needed to say after blessing her that the Lord may choose to use her in a completely different way, and we must surrender to Him. Gotta stick that in there since it has been the story of my life!)

The Holy Spirit reminded me of the verse where Paul says to fan into flame the gifts of the Spirit by the laying on of hands, to affirm the thoughts and desires and ideas of the people of God. Oh, to "fan the gifts into flame" for our children! THAT is what I want to be doing these years! Those moments do not happen often around here, it seems, but I pray for more. More of what truly matters; less of the filler. It just reminds me that the everyday is sacred if we'll have quiet hearts and invite Him in every space, every role, every moment.

A Good Place (Down Here)

Good evening, friends! I feel like I lost the past 3 weeks of my life! No reason to backtrack, it is nothing worth hearing! We were all sick...twice. Wah! But in that down time, I had a remarkable amount of reflecting, praying, journaling, thinking, talking, crying, and planning going on. I knew as it was going on that it was good, but I did begin to worry it might never let up...One can only handle so much of that stuff!

There's a song I have been listening to a lot by Sara Groves, From This One Place. The chorus is "From this one place I can't see very far. From this one moment I'm square in the dark. These are the things I will trust in my heart, that You can see, You can see, something else." Its been rolling around in my head for days...The soundtrack of this difficult emotional and physical season.

I turned 35 in the middle of this time, and while I love birthdays and did get to celebrate (several times!), I was a little sad. From this one place, from this one moment, wow, I really cannot see very far. I am in more of a submissive position than ever to the Lord and others; I have finally learned how very little control I have over my destiny!!  With this fatigue issue comes a lot of research, discipline, investment of time and money, and honestly, questioning..."Will this work? Is this worth it? Am I doing enough? Am I changing the right things?" There were relationships that needed hours of working through. There were fears embedded deep at the root of things I wasn't letting go of. There were and will be again days where I am clinging to this one thing: that He at least can see something else. I worked hard while I was sick!

In all of those feelings though, in all of the work I am required to do as the caretaker of my life here, there are certain solid truths that just carry me. They really lift me up and carry me. The belief that God personally calls me His Beloved and that everything He allows into my life goes through His hands first, that carries me. He is not bewildered or upset by my hurdles, and they are not for me to jump over anyway...they are for me to walk through hand in hand with Him. The knowledge that the Holy Spirit lives inside of me and intercedes to the Father in accordance with His will every minute of every day, that carries me. The blessing of community, friends and family who would drop anything to be the Body of Christ to each other, that carries me.

 I like to soar, not be carried. But this is a good place.

The 3 Days in Bed Kind of Perspective

I don't think I talk a lot about adrenal fatigue on my blog, or in my every day life either, but lately I have begun to bring it up more. I'm not sure why...I guess it's because I want people close to me to understand what I'm going through, and because I think that I need to make even more major changes and I want them to be on board with me. I will start with saying it's really excruciatingly difficult to talk about. I don't like being a needy or weak person! I like pushing through, I like a challenge, and I like to be on the top of my game. And I definitely don't want to be that person who always has a problem or excuse.

But I'm going to use this blog to say what adrenal fatigue is, what it feels like, how it occurs, how one can recover, and what the possible lifelong ramifications of it can be.

First of all, the adrenal glands are tiny but very important organs. They put out all kinds of hormones to keep us stable. They release adrenaline to help us deal with stresses such as blood sugar crashes, exercise, and scary incidents! They also release cortisol (which is both a good thing and a bad thing. Cortisol is released to balance the adrenaline, and so if one is dealing with too many blood sugar crashes, exercise, and stressful incidents, they become a cortisol making machine. High cortisol is dangerous, causes belly fat, and is linked to heart disease.) The adrenals cannot keep up with the making of these stress hormones and then when you need them, the hormones aren't there to help you stabilize. Adrenals also make DHEA, estrogen, testosterone, and aldosterone.

Adrenal fatigue is usually caused by some kind of physical or emotional trauma, one that is either drawn out or something unexpected like a car wreck. It's really common for people with adrenal fatigue to be "driven", or overworked like a mom with little children or a medical student. Mine began while I was a missionary in one of the hardest places to live on the planet, I've been told. My body went through a lot there, and I am also a "driven person" (although I have changed a lot through the years.) I left Africa 12 years ago, and have had symptoms off and on ever since.

It feels a lot like the flu, with aches, mind fogginess, need for about 12 hours of sleep but often insomnia, and extreme exhaustion. For me, there were years where it also was accompanied by a weak immune system, headaches, panicky feelings, and random fevers. Before I even had a diagnosis, there were a few years in those 9 that I thought I was healed! Those were the years that Selah (almost 8) was conceived, my first year of raising her, and June 2011 to June 2012. Each time all the symptoms returned for no reason that I can find. I finally learned three years ago that I have adrenal fatigue, and it was a great relief to be armed with books and knowledge. There is no way to try everything recommended unless you lived alone and had money you didn't know what to do with, but here is the basic plan for recovery.

*Chill out. Quit your job if you have to. (I have quit multiple jobs as the symptoms returned.) Let go of pressures and as many responsibilities as it humanly possible. Try to steer clear of stressful people and figure out what your own expectations are that you are clinging to.
*Exercise less. Only exercise to the point of exhilaration, not exhaustion. (I am doing 15 min a day and I think I've found a happy medium...finally!)
*Do not try to lose weight, but eat nutrient dense food all day long. Don't allow yourself to be hungry. Eat power foods, and at least 5 full cups of fruits and veggies daily. No caffeine, fast food, fried food, or processed food.
*Get rid of all added sugar, this wears out the adrenals. Even have to be careful of some fruits, like bananas and raisins.
*See if you have any food allergies or sensitivities to chemicals like cleaners or detergent. Allergies are a stress to the body.
*Sleep from 10pm to 9am or at least be in bed that much. (Some of you are laughing. I know it's not possible with little kids, but at least you could say these are the times you are ALLOWED to lay around.) And speaking of allowing yourself to lay around, take 2 fifteen minute "naps" just laying wherever you are with eyes closed. I never have once slept during these, but just close my eyes and breathe deeply.
*There's a ton of supplements to try, but the most important thing is to be tested and find out what you're lacking before you buy anything. Someone with adrenal fatigue will need DHEA which is an over the counter supplement and it takes a while to find out how much you need. I have went from 5 mg to 45 mg, and still rising. It's frustrating to go back for blood work so often, but it's the only way to figure it out.

If you don't deal with it, AF can turn into a host of other illnesses, including Addison's disease, Thyroid disease, MS, and because of the cortisol issue, heart disease.

So something shifted in my perspective as I laid in bed with strep and the flu this weekend. If my throat had not felt like there were knives in there, plus the white stuff I saw with the flashlight, I would not have even went to the doctor. I was so tired and achy I wanted to cry, but I had felt like that off and on for months. I genuinely felt no different with the flu than I normally feel, after that first day in bed. That was alarming to me.

I spent a lot of time reading and researching again to see if there was anything new, and so far, there isn't. I've already made the changes I know to make...except...

I don't know how to stay chilled out. I don't know how to not have goals and expectations of myself! I don't think I have pressure from others in my life...I think it's all me. As soon as I have a day that I feel decent, I make all kinds of plans. And I know that having adrenal fatigue doesn't mean I can't be involved in things...but it does mean I cannot get involved in things that would stress me or make me have a long to-do list. (But I love my to-do lists!) I wrote out all of my responsibilities and there were seven main categories. In each category, I am asking God to show me not necessarily what physical job I need to let go of, but what expectation/worry about them that I need to let go of. There is a big difference between quitting something, and quitting worrying about something. I realized this weekend that if I have had this for 12 years, there is a good chance that even when I feel great again-which i will someday-my adrenals will always be in need of t.l.c. so my choices are not short term, they are changes I have to make for good. I'm asking for the Holy Spirit to just show me how to do this!

So that is where I'm at. I had said last year that my new years resolution for 2013 was to "hang out more" but it wasn't long before I had a long list of other ideas. Crossing them off now. This is the life God has given me, and I need to learn how to live it.

Living Love Story #8: Moses and Me

Yeah, Moses and I go way back. I love this story from start to finish, but today I want to write about just the beginning of Moses' life and mission. I relate to this Old Testament Bible character more than any other, and I continue to learn from the raw and real substance that made up his humanity.

We are in Exodus...starting at chapter 2. We see the intimate connection that God has with his children, the people of Israel, who have been crying out for deliverance from the slave drivers of Egypt. Exodus 2:23-25 tells us that God heard them, saw them, remembered His covenant to them, and was concerned about them. In Exodus 3:8, we see God lay out His plan for their rescue as He reveals Himself to Moses through a burning bush. God says, "Go and tell the Pharoah that the I AM has sent you. Tell him that he must release My people, and if he says no, it's gonna get ugly." (Something like that, right?) Moses has some questions, some issues...to the extent that in chapter 4, he pleads with God to just send someone else.

Real quickly, let me squeeze these two little goodies in here as well. He tells Moses to take off his shoes because he is standing on holy ground. Oh the reality of His nearness! What do we need to remove from our lives in order to FULLY soak in His presence? How easy He is to ignore, how easy it is to be shielded from the reality of His nearness, in this world, in our busy lives, in our compromised lives. And the second sweet word of His desire for intimacy is simply this: "Moses, I will be with you."

Now, Moses had been a man of strong and intense passion, specifically passion for justice. He had killed a man who was mistreating one of his fellow Israelites many years before; in fact, that was the reason he fled out to the desert and relocated completely. Also, he had narrowly escaped one of the most horrific acts of injustice in history when he was a baby--the Pharoah had declared all male babies be killed upon their arrival into the world--but Moses had been spared. He had a fiery heart for justice...and he had used it unwisely. Every gift the Holy Spirit gives us, every innate passion, can be turned around for evil, can be mishandled. I have a fiery heart for justice, too. I get in my mind what must be done for the least of these, and I want everyone everywhere to stop their everyday lives and minister to others in the way that makes sense to me! But I have learned over the past 8 years that this is taking a God-given passion and turning it into a man-directed ministry. I haven't killed anybody but I've probably killed some relationships! Whether it's about finances, living sacrificially, fasting, raising awareness, the poor, slavery, adopting, child sponsorship, missions, prayer, whatever, there is a judgmental side of my heart for justice that has to be starved into extinction. It's a fine line between living my own life according to my convictions and also being a voice for the Lord in an appropriate way.

Not only was dear Moses just a little out of control like me sometimes, with a heart for equality and human rights, when the time came for him to embark upon the mission of a lifetime, he was scared to death. It's like watching a lion all of sudden stop roaring and hide behind a rock. It's like watching a guy step off of his soapbox and shiver at the idea of actually doing what he's talking about. And I've been there. It's easy to lay in bed at night and think of what I'll say and do...but the next day when the lights are on we realize how silly we are, how difficult that idea would be to pull off. We remember times we were embarrassed or times things didn't work out well. Can I really say that? Can I really sing that? Can I really do that? What if, what if, what if?

Getting over ourselves. Will we do it? Will we abandon our lives and our pride in order to be used by the Lord in precisely the way He chooses? That may mean you lay aside your career to stay home with your kids, or it may mean you go let your light shine in a dark world when you'd rather be home with your kids! It may mean you go to India and live among the poor and it may mean you stay here in relative comfort, learning to pray without ceasing. I believe that most of our callings will have these two things in common though:  One, we will be more obscure, more unnoticed, than we planned. And two, we will need a daily--constant--infusion of the presence of God, "shoes" off, in order to carry it out.

10 Steps to a Better Budget...(or Something Like That)

Oops! I totally forgot that I started a series of blogs about finances. Let me wrap that up for goodness sake...

In the previous blogs, I wrote that having a budget and sticking to it matters for so many reasons and I just can't say that enough. We have freedom to give only when we are good stewards of what God has given us! Being stable enough to help others requires sacrifice. Knowing where our money is going -every penny- and not having the expectation that we deserve to rise to a higher standard of living are a couple good places to start.

1) Make a budget with detailed categories, and project how much should be spent in each category.

2) One category should be a savings account (separate from your other savings account). This account should be for the things you know you will need to spend money on in the year, such as property taxes, or any bill that just comes once or twice a year, making it hard to put in a monthly budget. I add together all these types of yearly expenditures, divide it by 12, and put that amount in the savings monthly. Then we don't have to freak out when the car needs repairs, etc, because we knew it would happen eventually and we were (somewhat and sometimes!!) prepared.

3) Think about how much you're spending on health. It's an important investment, and there may be changes you can make to insurance, prescriptions, gyms, etc. to make it better and less expensive at the same time.

Okay, that was a re-cap. Now onto a few more ideas.

4) Stuff for our Kids: This is when it gets hard, and I struggle through this weekly, but here are a few things I'm trying to do. One, make a cash envelope, or at least a specific budget if not actually setting aside cash, for each child, to cover their birthday, Christmas, and other special holiday type gifts. Decide how much you think is appropriate to spend and only spend that much, and don't give in to picking up things for them every time you're at Target. Easier said than done, I know, but these are extras, non-necessities. We want to teach our kids to appreciate gifts because they aren't used to always getting what they want/new things. Two, make a Family Fun cash envelope or budget and decide at the beginning of the month how you'll spend it. When it's gone, it's gone. Find free activities after that! They need to see there's a limit. We don't have to say "Money doesn't grow on trees", we show them. Lastly, involvement in extracurricular stuff: I believe in investing in God given talents and I'm glad my parents did that for me. But doing one type of team or lesson at a time is a pretty good rule I've heard from a lot of parents, so kids have to choose and they put more value into what they're doing.

5) This one will be short and that is the "Bills" category. What are your needs and what are your wants? We should know the difference, right?

6) We have a miscellaneous category in our budget. It's a good and a bad thing! Good because life happens and there is just no way you can project everything that is going to be paid for in a month. But bad because things can really pile up in there. Haircuts. Stamps. Parking. If every penny has to be accounted for in some part of the budget, where does one put "$10 Dog Toy"? In Miscellaneous.

7) Giving: A couple things here. One, we don't give under compulsion or by any rules. As believers, we give to where we see the Body of Christ at work, because this and not a building is the Church! Second, I weigh a lot of things against the fact that sponsoring a child in a third world country, giving them food, shelter, education, safety, and opportunity to know Jesus, costs $35 a month. Whenever we take on some kind of monthly bill and it comes to anywhere near this number, I am thinking, "Hmmm...upgrade the phone or save a child's life?" I'm serious. This is the intensity that my poor husband has to live with.

8) Cash Envelopes. It's a Dave Ramsey thing and it's seriously worth it. Some people do it for almost everything, we do it for the areas of the budget where overspending is a habit: eating out, family fun, individual blow money. Sometimes if grocery starts to get a little crazy, I'll do the cash thing for a month or two to get it under control again. Like Pinkalicious' Mom says: "You get what you get, and you don't get upset."

9) Shopping. You know, it's inevitable that you're going to need some new things, but here's an idea...A friend of mine and I went a year once without buying anything new. I mean, we bought deodorant and stuff, but no new shoes or clothes or appliances or whatever. We bought only necessities for a year, and it was really fun. It made me consider how much money is spent that really didn't need to be spent. Ads are pretty powerful, and the fact is if there is an ad for it, you most likely do not need it. Notice how they don't make commercials for electricity, running water, and the most basic of clothes, cars, and hygiene products? Nope. The ads are for bigger and better and brighter, and they make you think its something you should get in on, but someone is rolling in the dough at our expense. (Don't get me started on kids toys or electronics!! The new models that come out every year with one tiny thing upgraded on it!! Makes me want to gag!!)

10) Last thing, make an emergency budget of what you absolutely could not live without and compare it to your existing budget. See how bad things could be? If you have no savings, I recommend living on the emergency budget until you have three months of that amount (your total emergency budget monthly needs) saved.

Well, I hope this wasn't too boring or annoying. Maybe everyone is already doing this and tons more, that's great! I just like to share what I'm learning, hope it helps!

Living Love Story #7: Fruitful in the Land of Suffering

Let's say that on Tuesday of this week you were met with a series of difficult circumstances all colliding at once. Perhaps you found out that your best just wasn't really cutting it in your job or in an important relationship. You began to wonder who was going to make you cry next. Financial problems and health problems and people problems...

Then today, Wednesday, you get a series of affirming words and you feel some peace about relationships. You see that the finances could be worse, or maybe even something good happens in that area. You got a decent night of sleep and your health issue seems to be tolerable at least. The sun shines yet again, and you don't feel as lost in the dark...

Which day would you be more likely to say these statements:
"The Lord is with me."
"I am prospering."
"I am being given success right now in everything I am doing."
"God is granting me favor with people."
"God is showing me kindness."
"I am to the point of even forgetting my former trouble."
"God has made me fruitful in my suffering."

I would be more likely to say these statements, and in fact I did say these statements, on Wednesday. But on Tuesday? No. On Tuesday, I was busy feeling abandoned and confused and stressed. Not fruitful. Not successful. Just the opposite.

I have always liked the story of Joseph. Starting in Genesis 37, we know Joseph is in for it with his brothers. Boasting about dreams, being his father's favorite, it was about all they could take...and eventually his brothers sell him to some Egyptians. It's an amazing story that shares a real life example of Romans 8:28! And when Joseph was sold into slavery, when he was falsely accused, when he was thrown into prison, the Word of God specifically declares every single one of the truths I mentioned above--about Joseph--right in the middle of his circumstances. These things weren't said after the Pharoah got him out of prison or after his brothers apologized or after Joseph's wisdom and gifts saved lives. (Gen. 39:2-4, Gen. 39:20-23, Gen. 41:51-52) It was on the bad days that these things were true, as well as the "good" days.

God does things in a way that is beyond our understanding, so He invites us to be a child and trust Him. "Oh for grace to trust Him more!"

Living Love Story #6: Is the Limp Worth the Name?

Something that spurs me on in worship is I genuinely believe that my words, my surrender, my praise, even my body language toward the Lord is PERSONAL to Him. I believe He is wants a personal touch from His people, whatever that looks like! But I don’t know if we have anything to give unless we let Him come close enough to touch us first.

I was reading in Genesis this week, seeking out what some of these personal touches from God to man looked like from the beginning, and I read about Jacob. 

In Genesis 32, we’re told that Jacob (who is Abraham’s Grandson, blessed with the covenant God gave to Abraham) gets in an all night wrestling match -physically- with God! It’s so physical that Jacob walks away with a limp...and also he earns a new name. 

And Jacob was a guy who really needed a new name. He had been quite the trickster in his youth and even as he grew up, he ran into trouble with either tricking people or being tricked by people. He had stolen his brother Esau’s birthright and blessing, lied to his father, tricked his father in law, and finally, just personal interpretation here, I think he was ready to put all that behind him. 

I think he was tired of the games, of always trying to make himself come out on top. He decides to take his family and start out fresh and new; he decides to go beg his brother’s forgiveness; and while he is on his way to these events that I think show some maturity, he gets alone with God.

And from this interaction...he walks away with a limp...a physical reminder of being face to face with God.

God’s personal touch can be wounding sometimes, like it was for Jacob, because He’s going to get to the heart of the matter. If you had cancer, you would say: “Cut it out of me, do what you have to do!” What kind of doctor wouldn’t pinpoint the real problem if he knew what it was? God loves us enough to put His finger on stuff...and even wound us as a reminder that we cannot go on the way we were.

Adrenal fatigue and a sleep disorder is my “limp”. These physical limitations and difficulties are a reminder to me that I cannot go back to the motives and methods I used to live my life by. They are a reminder of those years of wrestling with God, of finally seeing His face, and of the soul altering changes He made in me. 

When He touches us, there is a chance for a new beginning if we want it. God gave Jacob the name Israel that night. He brought me into His rest and my role as Beloved, and I will never be the same. That was not the direction I thought God was going to take  my life! It didn’t seem like “enough”.  But His touch, His wounding, overwhelms my soul with humility and praise because I would rather have His fatherly discipline than everything I planned.

Is the limp worth the name? It is to me.

The Moral Tragedy Called Abortion

I've been waking up thinking about such heavy topics lately. Regularly, I wake up thinking about the moral tragedy called abortion. I read yesterday it has been 40 years since Roe v. Wade.

I understand that not everyone wants God's Word to be used in the making of law, so I won't even go there. This isn't a Christian vs. Non-Christian issue and I don't need to argue it as one.  Abortion is a human rights issue, plain and simple.

It doesn't bother me to be labeled Anti-Choice by some people instead of Pro-Life. That's fine. I AM Anti-Choice. What does bother me is when Pro-Choice people don't finish this sentence: "They will never take away a woman's right to choose." I'll fill in the blank to say exactly what they mean but exactly what they won't say. "They will never take away a woman's right to choose to end the life of the child inside of her." They are welcome to call me Anti-Choice if they understand that I will call them advocates of a child holocaust.

Where and when was the lie created that a baby inside the womb is not a human? If it's a not a human being, what is it? Can we not hear how ridiculous that sounds? It's illegal to mess with a bald eagle's EGGS, but in this country, as long as the baby is still in the womb,  it has no rights whatsoever. A bird fetus has more rights than a human one. When did the lie begin that a human baby doesn't have the same rights as a human being? At what point do those rights kick in anyway? Where did the lie begin that it's a mother's right to end that fetus's existence simply because it couldn't survive without her? Does that make it less than human, to be weak and vulnerable, small and dependent? My four year old is still all those things! Should I be allowed to end her life if I'm feeling like she's messing up my life and my plans, if I think she's not going to be loved in her lifetime? Does her dependence on me put the decision of whether she gets to live or die in my hands?  Who came up with the insane idea that a baby is an extension of a woman's body? My child is not one of my body parts that I have the freedom to do whatever I want with. When was the lie created that if a child is not wanted by a mother, it should not get a chance to live and be taken to someone who has waited years to simply love and nurture a child?

There are some strange arguments out there. Some people think that to be Pro-Life, you have to pick up all these other beliefs and stances. But that's not true. For example, some people have told me they are Pro-Choice simply because they wouldn't want the health of mothers to be endangered and if it is between the life of the mother and the baby, they would want the health of the mother to be considered first and foremost. I agree wholeheartedly. These are extremely rare cases and should not make a person Pro-Choice! This already IS the practice in hospitals today and it always will be and it has nothing to do with abortion laws. Making abortion illegal is NOT putting women's lives at risk (unless you're thinking about women going and having illegal abortions, which are more dangerous. We have other issues in this country- like drugs- that we have deemed illegal even though the illegal trade of them is more dangerous, but it didn't stop us from forming those laws.) Some people like to say, "You're a hypocrite to be against abortion but for the death penalty." Guess what? I am totally against the death penalty!!!  Some say, "Well, you want abortion to be illegal but you need to be doing more to prevent pregnancy and you're not willing to put condoms and sex ed in school." YES I AM! Being "conservative" about abortion does not mean you have to be conservative about everything. Cases of rape, incest, etc? I read that these situations accounted for 1% of abortions. I think its okay for people to have different views on this, and if I was a politician who had to make some compromises in order to get abortion in general to be made illegal again, I would probably agree to this 1% being legal.

If we say we personally would never do it, but we don't want to keep others from having that choice, we will share in the blame when judgment comes. If we vote for politicians who have an agenda against the unborn, I couldn't care less what else they do right, we will share in the blame when judgment comes. There are a lot of gray issues out there, friends, and we can disagree on them all day long and it's fine. No problem. But I am ashamed to live in a country where it's a woman's right to injure and kill a child she is carrying in her womb. I'm upset that anyone would ever do this practice, but I'm outraged that my government allows it, condones it, and expects us to rally around it with our taxes and support.

This blog and my opinion isn't to make anyone who has had an abortion feel condemned. God and the Church, at least my church, opens their arms to anyone. We are ALL sinners, none greater than another, and we can be forgiven and made new if we simply ask! This blog is just one avenue I have to speak my heart and mind to anyone who will listen.  My prayer is that God will remove the veil of confusion and indifference about this issue, allowing us to see clearer and clearer how to love, how to take care of the least of these, and how to stand against a wave of politically correct but purely self-centered evil.

Living Love Story #5: Getting on the Same Page

Probably one of the most common prayers that escape our lips has to do with asking for God's will. That's how Jesus taught us to pray, and it weaves humility and trust and need all together.  It's a purposeful prayer to ask for His wants to come first, His way to be walked. In my teenage years, it was the holy grail...Oh, Lord, what is Your will? Just tell me this one thing and I will never ask You for anything ever again! I thought His will was an answer to a question or two, questions such as: "Who do you want me to marry? What job do you want me to have?" And for me, because I wanted to be a missionary, it was "Where do you want me to live and when am I going to get there?" I reduced God to a fortune teller, and He told me just that! Thus began my journey of finding what He really meant when He said to pray "Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven."

I think we can see a portion of what this prayer means in the story of Abraham praying for Sodom and Gomorrah.

In Genesis 18, God decides (specifically in verse 17) to disclose to Abraham what He is going to do to Sodom and Gomorrah. Because of the great sin in these cities, He is going to destroy them completely. So He decides to share this with His friend, Abraham. And if that isn't enough to show their companionship, Abraham takes this opportunity to discuss the Lord's plans with Him. He says humbly, "Lord, will you save the cities if there are just fifty righteous people?" The Lord says, "Yes, I will." Then Abraham says, "Will you save them if there are just forty-five?" The answer is yes. What about thirty, twenty, ten? The Lord says, "Abraham, I will save these cities if there are just ten righteous people!"

There weren't. There were not ten righteous people. The cities were destroyed. But this conversation reveals to me some pieces of God's will, His purposes, the decisions and actions of His heart.

First, we see that God enjoys and expects and rewards conversation! It's both possible and normal to talk with God, and to say anything! He Who Sees our hearts can handle them being poured out to Him. This walking and talking? It's His will for you and me. Secondly, we see that when Abraham asked for the salvation and rescue of souls, he didn't have to beg. Abraham had immediately hit on the top priority of God's heart. He was instantly on the same page with God, instantly on the same wavelength, and we can know that SO ARE WE when we cry out to God for lives.

We can never stop crying out to God for lives! I am frustrated at where "morality" has headed, but in that frustration, I can't stop praying for lives. I am broken hearted and ashamed that I live in a country where abortion is legal, but in that reality of how this makes me feel, I can't stop praying for lives. Lives of those who are righteous and innocent...and lives of those that are deep in lies, sin, and death. Both victims and oppressors.

When we take the time to pray for lives, I believe with all my heart, we are instantly on the same page with our Creator, Savior, and Coming King.

10 Steps to a Better Budget and Why It Matters (Part Two)

So before I go on, let me say a couple things that have been rolling around in my mind...This covers a bit of the "Why It Matters" part of the title :)

I am not writing this from a place of having it altogether. I don't always follow every bit of this advice; there are times I feel led to do something differently and also there is compromise needed sometimes in marriage, etc. Also, there are so many ways that I have been financially blessed by others that in a way it is easier for me to have my head halfway on straight about desiring things, spending, giving, and saving than for many people.  Being financially blessed by others and coming from a stable but thrifty household growing up makes me want to handle money wisely and sacrificially. I want to BE like those people who have given us a car and other extravagant gifts...Somewhere along the way they decided to be great with money, therefore they have the freedom to give a car away! And these people- some of them- have lived in trailers, have traveled the country for a job, have went without vacations for a decade, have done whatever they needed to do without complaint. I want to be like that, too, if I need to. Also, being financially blessed by others forces me to have some humility. I didn't work for all that I have and I know it, and it's humbling. I am a recipient. And as a recipient, I am super aware of where my money is going because I know it is undeserved blessing.

But whether we earned everything we have or not, we are all recipients! Don't we recognize it is all from the Lord? Our ability, our minds, our relationship/connections...it is all from the Lord and we became good stewards (hopefully) of those abilities and minds and connections. :) But knowing it is all from Him changes how we view money and what should be done with it. It's ours to steward but it's not ours. I try to live with the mentality that I have exactly what He wants me to have, no more and no less, for strategic purposes. I have dear friends around the world in varying forms of financial discomfort, and even though I have been given much, if you knew the numbers on my budget you would count me in that group most likely! But I still say it: We are blessed. We have our basic needs met. I can't say that for a good part of the world, sadly. Yet still some of the worst financial decisions ever made are because we have an underlying feeling that we are entitled to spend our money however we want, that we deserve to make and keep more, and that we deserve certain things we'd like to have and do, in due time if not immediately. Oh how much frustration these lies have caused! For MOST of us, worrying about money stems from the fear that we will have to drop to a lower standard of living, not the fear of homelessness, starvation, or death! That humbles me.

But back to remembering we are simply stewards of God's money: We shouldn't feel guilty for buying movie tickets or even Disney tickets, with this knowledge that it is all His, but there was a time in my life that I did feel that way. Through a lot of prayer and study, I felt like the Lord was saying all I could do was make a budget that took care of first things first, make sure my husband was in agreement with it, and stick to the projected costs of each category in my budget to the best of my ability. And just like I said in part one, there is room for fun! You could even add a savings for vacation or whatever it is you are wondering how it will ever fit in with this "I'm stewarding God's money" mentality. But getting rid of any attitude of "I deserve this" and replacing it with "I will receive this gift from God" is vital, I believe. I am learning to receive good gifts; there is a time and place for that. Family trips are precious getaways and priceless memories. Anniversary dates are downright necessary. Lunch with a friend with your "fun money" is worth every penny spent as God has made us in need of each other! But every one of these things has to be weighed and balanced and planned for. Making a budget for yourself or as a couple if you're married enables you to be more free to enjoy your splurges and times of gifting others and treating yourself because you know there was a place in the budget marked for it.

Dave Ramsey says we'd all go a little crazy if there is no "blow money" whatsoever. But there are times you just don't have any blow/fun for yourself money, and I promise you, with the right attitude of surrender and thankfulness to the Lord about this issue, you will not go crazy! Know that in your leanest times, if you have a roof over your head, a loved one, and something in your tummy, you are better off than millions. As we live, with God's help, in an attitude of thankfulness and surrender, I believe God will change those circumstances in time because financial need is stressful and takes it's toll on a body, a marriage, and a family. We have to be doing our part. "Our part" is different for everyone- what you need to do to be stable and have a little breathing room financially is different than what I have to do- but what we all have in common is our ability to ask for the Lord to rule our finances and our attitudes about them.