A Question and Some Thoughts

So...the big question for me these days is the big question of exactly one year ago: To homeschool next school year or not. I will skip a bunch of the details to simply say that I was feeling like the decision had been made for me. Jack is working 2nd shift, and even though he doesn't feel like this job is going to be his career, he will probably be there at least awhile. Long enough to bother getting on their insurance! :) Since no one is awake to take Selah to school (don't laugh and don't judge, I can't do it and Jack would only get 5 hours of sleep a night if he did it), and even worse since Selah wouldn't see Jack except for on the weekends, I felt the decision toward homeschooling had become set in stone. Then I spent some time with Jack this weekend and he thinks this summer is going to be our time to experiment with it.

I think homeschooling is a great thing for certain families. I've always thought I would do it, at least for some years, and I really respect those who do. I could spend this blog describing why I want to do it, but I'm sure you can guess those. So here are the reasons why I'm just not positive I can handle it.

1) I am fully aware of my "special needs". I have to sleep so much because of this dang sleep disorder and, just as the type of person that I am, I require pretty good amounts of stillness. I feel disconnected from myself in such a disturbing way when I am having to be "on" all the time. I need time every day of quiet, to journal and pray, to think things through, just to be. I am learning how to re-orient myself to God's presence in me in the midst of chaos, but it's still not enough. If I homeschool, I have sort of worked out a schedule that will allow me to have some time like this, but I will not be okay if I'm flustered and harried all day. That's just not functional and not how I want to be remembered by my kids anyway.

2) All of the hours left in the day. If we homeschool 2 to 4 hours a day, what do we do the rest of the day? Sure, I can figure out a lot of it, but this is a small house and while my kids can entertain themselves with toys and puzzles and what-not for a couple hours out of the day, I'm afraid we'll turn to TV if I'm too tired to take them out to play or go visit someone. Plus, they are such social little people, I do think they will get tired of being here and doing the same thing so many days a week. We'll have church, AWANA, gymnastics, and the library, plus playgrounds, the zoo, and field trips. Maybe we will form community there that will carry over beyond those actual places?

3) I believe, and have seen this year while Selah was in Kindergarten at Lincoln Trail, that absence makes the heart grow fonder! She appreciates her relationships at home, as well as her "stuff". She doesn't get bored because she's only here from 3 until 8 (bedtime) then weekends, and because that's only 5 hours a day we make it quality time. I cannot make 12 hours a day quality time.

So...here's how you can help me...those few of you still reading! A few questions you may be able to respond to?

*What can I expect Selah (6 years old, reading 2nd or 3rd grade level, major extrovert) to do on her own and for how long?

*How many times a day is it appropriate to say, "Okay, kids, go play quietly in your rooms for a little while?"

*How many days (for you homeschoolers) do you stay home completely?

*How much TV (pretty good stuff, like educational cartoons) is appropriate, in your opinion?

*How do you get your "sanity time" (if you feel like you need it)?

Thanks! Thanks for reading and letting me get all that out. This is my first chance at the computer in a long time! Hope to blog more regularly soon. :)